Grief after missed miscarriage

[ShowerTheHorse]

I had a missed miscarriage, diagnosed at 10 weeks the surgical removal was on Tuesday...

I am just so sad, all of the time. My DP wants to try again asap but I feel I can't. I've been going out as normal and my mum took me out for lunch today but I just felt like screaming that nobody knew what I am feeling inside. If any one has had this how lonf until you felt 'normal'? I feel ill never get over this.

Not sure whether it's worth seeing my GP or waiting it out.

no advise. but sorry for your loss x

Thankyou Samcro

I am very sorry for your loss. Missed miscarriage is such a horrible shock. I had one 5 years ago. It does get better, but don’t let people rush you through your natural grieving process. I found many people just don’t understand what a loss it is. Speaking to your GP if you are struggling is a good idea. Mine was a great support.

You are still in the very early days of your loss. You may feel it for a long time - I’m still sad about ones that happened 8+ years ago, but the first rush of grief is long gone and I don’t think about it all the time. In the short term I found I felt a bit more “normal” after my first post-mc period. I had a week or so off work and wouldn’t have been up for lunches out for quite a while. I didn’t like being around people.

I am very sorry for your loss and understand that this is a very difficult time for you. Having experienced three miscarriages during the course of having my four children, I understand the grief you are going through, but you won't always feel this bad. I was very upset for the first week or two and experienced crying, anger, frustration and guilt. Please know that none of this is your fault, unfortunately it is just nature/ God's way (whatever your belief or non belief) and it is really crappy! I managed to cope with the support of family and friends and after a few weeks you stop feeling so bad and it stops occupying your thoughts. A few months down the line although you will always feel a bit sad, you accept it as your life will have moved forward and you will only think of it now and again but you never forget. Not everyone understands miscarriage, some friends (with the best of intentions) would say "you can always try again", grrrr, to which I always thought, I don't want to try again, I want the baby that I lost. You are experiencing the grief of the loss of a baby, no matter what stage of life your baby was at, it was alive, it was yours, it was loved and you had dreams and plans. I always tried again pretty soon afterwards because my desire to have a baby was so strong and because I had a lot of trouble trying to conceive the first time. A good friend of mine went to her GP after a misscarriage as she was struggling with the loss and she was refered to counselling which really helped her. A visit to your GP may be beneficial to help you deal with this difficult time in your life. Remember to lean on others for support and take care of yourself.

So sorry for your loss. I had the same at 12 weeks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just give yourself time. I went back to work after a few days and it was too soon. I remember howling and sobbing in the car driving to work. People expect you to be over it in a flash but work to your needs not theirs. 💐

I'm sorry for your loss. This happened to me although only 6? 7? weeks and I was seriously depressed for about 5 months afterwards. I think a lot of that was hormonal because I didn't have periods for ages and I developed acne for the first time ever. I have never told anyone because most people IME don't know what to say and I think not sharing it made it worse. Don't expect yourself to be "normal" because this is very soon. Maybe see if you can find someone to speak to?

I suffered the same and it took me to rock bottom, I have never felt as low as I did in the months after that. I struggled to get myself out of bed in the mornings. It does get easier but I also still have times when out of nowhere the grief comes back. Don’t rush yourself and get help if you feel you need it.

Thinking of you and your loss x x