Have you been to Relate counselling? Did it help?

[ChocolateToast]

DH and I have been for an initial Relate assessment appointment and are waiting for them to contact us with availability for our first session. The counsellor said sessions, once they start would be fortnightly.

Never had counselling of any sort before. Would really appreciate hearing others experiences of Relate/Marriage Counselling.

What was it like? What helped? What didn’t? Did you tell your DC you were going? Did you tell anyone? Anything you wish you’d known beforehand? Any insights really...

Thank you

I'm a counsellor who trained with Relate and worked for them in the past.
Ive also been to couples therapy with my partner.
I'd say it can help aid communication and understand each other more if you are both willing and open. It can help you to look at your individual histories and how this has impacted your current relationship. A lot depends on what is bringing you to therapy.

In my experience some people share that they are attending with family and close friends but for other couples it remains private.
Homework is sometimes set though nothing is enforced, its more interventions that your therapist might feel will help in between sessions like active listening etc.
Best of luck

Thank you Harriet.

We are going for two reasons:
Firstly because we are arguing non-stop. We don’t seem to be able to do anything without it causing a disagreement. We cannot carry on like this. It’s just horrible and absolutely awful for the children, (although they would be devastated if we separated).

And because he wants more “liberal and open minded” sex (his words) and I don’t. I feel it’s either agree to that type of sex or separate because he says he “can’t accept being without the type sex he wants anymore” and that “he has become more open minded and I’ve become more repressed”.

Counselling is the only remaining option to see if we can find an amicable way forward.

When he is lovely he is so lovely but he has a really horrible and hurtful side.

That sounds tough hopefully the counsellor should be able to help you both understand a bit more about how each other is feeling and how to learn to negotiate and compromise and also to understand why you are arguing and if it is the same argument why it isn't being resolved.

Thank you. Has anyone else been?