12 yo dd says her lunch is by far the biggest in the class

[Flamingoose]

She has much the same thing every day:

a sandwich - 2 slices of bread with grated cheese
an apple or a pear
a slice of cake or 2 bought biscuits (eg digestives or hobnobs)
a carton of milk
(Sometimes she will also have a small pot with an extra thing eg crackers / dates)

She also takes a pot of porridge for breakfast as she leaves the house very early for swim training and eats it when she gets to school.

This is what she eats until she gets home at about 4, and she'll make herself a hot chocolate or a piece of toast.

It's not that much is it? She's very active and a healthy weight, so I'm not worried so much as curious. She's rather young for her age and has started to notice how her friends are talking about how much people eat. Apparently the consensus is that she eats more than anyone else

Bet she doesn't eat more than the boys! Tell her to look at their lunches. My sons would be starving on that amount of food! It's the age when girls start getting influenced by media etc weight, diets. If she is a healthy weight and eating healthy food she will need to learn to ignore. Bet those commenting eat all sorts of rubbish like choc and sweets.

That’s what I give my 10yo. Sounds fine to me.

I also have a swimmer - they’re always hungry and if she’s doing early morning training she’s clearly training at quite a high intensity so she’ll need refuelling.

My dd is like a new born - she needs feeding every 4 hours.

Sounds normal. Maybe if you have concerns ask how many of those with smaller lunches swim train before school? Talk to her about calories but in a healthy mind obsessive way, so she appreciates that she needs to eat more as she is burning more, therefore if she had a smaller lunch it would be unhealthy for her and affect her swimming.

Not instead of mind

That’s pretty similar to what my tall, slim ten year olds eat for lunch.

Ahh, good point. We talk quite happily about fuel to keep our bodies healthy, but I have never actually pointed out that none of her friends in her class are in the pool 8 times a week so she's bound to need a bit more.

Glad to know it's not a crazy amount! It seemed about normal to me.

Sounds like a fairly minimal lunch to me
DD10, although the size of a 14 year old usually takes in fruit for snack, sandwich,crisps,yoghurt,biscuit and cheese for lunch with some more fruit. She also gets a snack on the way home (she has lengthy walk)

So sad that 12 yo girls feel pressure to eat less.

I don't think it's much.
DD is 11 and has the following for lunch and a midmorning snack.
cheese and ham sandwich occasionally sausage rolls
yoghurt
3 or 4 cherry tomatoes/ a mini pepper/ cucumber
2 pieces of fruit - an apple/ orange/banana/melon or berries in a pot
Packet of crisps or mini cheddars or breadsticks
Usually a biscuit/ cake/ cocktail sausages or pepperami.
Only drinks water.

Do the others get cake?
Could be jealousy.

I use to swim 10 times a week at that age. I ate far more than my friends and I knew I did. I had a blip at about 13 where I was paranoid about all the food I ate. My mum sat me down and said I need all this fuel to keep me strong for my swimming and thankfully I listened to her. My coach also did a nutrition exercise as an extra session which really helped.

Sadly I am now an adult and still have the same appetite just don't do the same amount of training

My 9 year old boys eats the same amount.

I think she’s telling the truth, if my experience is anything to go by. It’s a perfectly reasonable lunch but around 12 years girls in particular seem to get the skinny is perfect bug. There is increasing social norms to turn up with trendy but tiny lunches. A rice cake with the tiniest amount of houmus and three grapes, an avocado and a teaspoon, a flask of miso soup.

Girls who were rounded in primary become angular sticks almost overnight. They all want to be in the popular group and that needs physical attractiveness ie slenderness, long flicky hair and doe eyes with a pouty look.
My experience is it gets better about sixth form.

Dd is 10. She is also very active. She eats less at lunch and prefers a larger meal in the evening.

Your dd should be governed by her food needs, not those of others.

Dd has a ham sandwich or in place of that a packet of crisps and cooked chicken pieces or another source of protein.
Cucumber and/or carrot sticks
Two types of fruit

This wouldn’t be enough for her evening meal.

What is enough to sustain your dd? Hopefully she will learn that competitive low eating is no conducive to her training.

Ahhh, my packed lunches in school were two pieces of bread with something like Cucumber Sandwich spread, a packet of crisps, a Ski Yoghurt, a Trio or Viscount, a piece of fruit and an Um Bongo. I couldn’t wait for lunchtime!

That doesn't seem like much to me especially for someone so active.

My tall, healthy weight 8 year old tends to have:

• jam sandwiches (her request!)
• a few strawberries or the like
• a few sticks of carrot or the like
• yoghurt tube
• iced gems or soreen or something like that
• crisps

Sometimes she'll have something else as well.

School do a fruit snack mid afternoon and she'll have a snack of some sort when she gets home.

She generally eats all of it but if she's very good at knowing when she's had enough.

Ask why your daughter is worried about about the size of her lunch?

I definitely agree that there is a change in attitude about lunches at beginning of secondary. Dd either took a fancy could have been off instagram type lunch or nothing. Took a lot of my willpower to smile and just keep making sure stuff was available if she wanted it (or when she came home from school and wasn't being watched). That and washing endless leftover chia seeds and avocado off jam jars (no more plastic boxes for lunches was trickiest bit of secondary transition).

The answer was in the words “swim training”! If she does morning training I’m guessing she trains regularly, for several hours a week. Each session will use use the equivalent of an extra meal- about 550 per hour.
She may well eat more than the others at school, but probably the same as her team-mates. The amount of food put away by a collection of swimmers is phenomenal! We went away with friends earlier this year, 4 out of 5 children are swimmers- from national to county level- the food consumption was unbelievable. As long as it is in line with her training needs, her growing needs and is a balanced diet it’s all good.

My DD (10) is also a swimmer and her lunch is bigger than your DDs!
We never talk about weight, but we do talk about strength. She's very slight, pure muscle and ears

Argh eats not ears! Posted too soon! She ways lots. Lunch is typically a wrap/ sandwich/ pasta with crisps/ popcorn/ crackers, cereal bar / biscuit and juice OT smoothie. I don't bother with fruit as it went get eaten bit there's always salad or veg in the main meal part . Kids often comment on her lunchbut add they turn up with jam our Nutella sandwich she's not really bothered!

That doesn’t sound like much at all. Odd comments from the other pupils too.

The pupils at my school eat way more than that if they have a school dinner eg pizza and chips and the ones that bring a packed lunch have huge containers full of far more than that.

OMG autocorrect typos sorry

I would ask if something has been said by the other girls and now she is feeling self conscious of her lunch.
Is she in secondary now? If so I might phone the school nurse not to moan but just so they are aware that there might be an eating trend going on.
Yes school are probably aware of it but if no one says anything they won't act. By act I mean chuck out a healthy eating assembly or cover it a bit more in citizenship or social ed which ever they have.
Get your daughter to understand she needs more calories as she is burning loads more than her peers by swimming and to be able to tell them that as well.

I imagine the other girls snack on chocolate bars, fizzy drinks and crisps - on the way to or from school.