Anyone awake- I’m at rock bottom

[Sassyk]

My partner of 12 years left me a few days ago, he has just admitted to having an affair with the person who teaches my daughter dance. I am devastated, worse still she lives round the corner and even worse she is the teaching assistant at the school my daughter starts at in September. I’m feel like I want to die. I’ve been texting him all night as I don’t understand why anyone would do that. He doesn’t respond. He told me he loved me on Tuesday but now can barely sound like he likes me. He wants to see his daughter I’ve said no not right now. What do I do about the school? I really don’t want my daughter at the school the person having an affair with my partner is working at. Would you move her? Tell the school?

I'm sorry you are having to go through this.hope everything goes ok today.

I would discuss the matter with the school in the hope that OW would be disciplined

On what possible grounds could the school discipline this teaching assistant?

Are teachers even allowed to have relationships with parents whose children are at the same school?

Teachers can be parents and have children at the same school.

The adulterous TA dance instructor has brought the school into ill repute which are grounds of complaint.

I really feel for you op, you've had the rug well and truly pulled from under you. Can you get a friend to come over tonight for a chat?

Sorry to hear this.

It's shit. Very shit.

Firstly your husband gets to make no demands here. Keep very factual but tell him that he will be able to see DD when you have had time to work out a fair schedule. Also tell him that once you divorce him for adultery any access schedule will be formalised through the court.

With regards to him actually seeing DD - set ground rules in place as to how and where he'll be able to see DD (somewhere neutral like one of his family member house / take her out).

Be as emotionless as possible and don't engage in anything other than the facts.

Your DD hasn't started school yet? Do you know what age this woman is TA for? It may well be that she is in with an older class so your DD won't have much to do with her yet? Is it a big school (my DC go to a school with two classes in each year so of this school is the same then maybe you can request TA teaches "other class" so will never have your DD) I would also look at other schools too. I assume you haven't applied yet so it's a but easier than having to move her from a school she is already at.

Keep strong.

Sorry I've just seen that your DD is starting next month.

Most of what I say still stands, you can still look at other schools etc.

But check what age the woman is a TA for and I would send an email (again very factual and emotionless) directly to the head teacher to make her aware.

We had quite a lot to do with the TA's when the kids were in reception so I'm hoping this woman isn't a reception TA.

How are you doing today OP?

I would tell the school. They need to know so they can keep an eye on your daughter and the TA doesn't teach her as it could get really messy. I know that parents are allowed to teach at their kids school etc but surely it's about honesty and integrity. I know in my profession I'd get fired and likely struck off if I had an affair with a client's husband!!