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Original poster

Is it doable?

11 replies

PinkPrincessCat · 22/08/2018 21:20

I met a guy online. He lives 112 miles away. We both drive. Talked a while, he joked about moving up my way as I seemed perfect for him.

First date (after a week or so of talking) went well. Arranged a date the following week but he cancelled, he said the distance was too much and it wouldn't work long term even though he likes me. I thought maybe it was my weight or I put him off somehow. Didn't really message him after that.

Few weeks later I messaged him, invited him round, he booked a day off work and came over. Great day, he seemed really keen. Half heartedly talking about moving up this way. He has 3 kids who live with their mum so it would be difficult, but he said that's all that is keeping him where he is, he could move jobs etc.

Thing is, when we stopped talking he went on dates with another woman who he's since stopped seeing. He is talking to other women. So I figured I didn't mean much to him...

But then today he was talking about next time we meet, talking about maybe meeting my kids (not now, in the future), jokingly talking about moving in.... I get that he was messing around, but the odd comment seemed sincere, like he seemed jealous an ex was bothering me. He commented on the plausibility of moving etc...

It's only been a couple of dates and I have a tendency to be clingy so I guess I'm wondering what I should do... shall I keep messaging him and seeing him, cool down and let him chase me? I don't want to scare him off, I really really like the guy. We've both said the only issue is living 2 hours drive apart (he works odd hours too, so seeing him in the week wouldn't be possible, only weekends).

He moved from near me to where he lives now to be with his ex (before they had kids) so I know he's done long distance before.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 22/08/2018 21:22

To be quite frank, you are mad and he's even madder.

You don't know each other. He's talking about moving in with you? He's saying the ONLY thing keeping him in that area is his kids - well, that's a very good reason, wouldn't you say?

He's seeing other women. He's talking complete nonsense.

Is this what you want in a man?

earlybirdhasanap · 22/08/2018 21:25

You've had two dates and he's cancelled one. He's also been seeing other women in this time.
This is not a moving to be with each other relationship - you barely know each other.
You admit you're clingy but this level of commitment talk this early on is madness.
To me it sounds like he's just making the right noises in a none committed way and you're getting well ahead of things.

Kardashianlove · 22/08/2018 21:27

I would be really put off by a man who was even considering moving away from his kids. Especially to be with a woman he’s only just met. His poor kidsSad

Original poster
PinkPrincessCat · 22/08/2018 21:28

oh goodness I didn't mean moving in any time soon! Heavens no! Just in general he was joking about moving up my way, that the only thing keeping him where he is are the kids (who he will still see just as much, if not more as he'd have them longer due to the extra travel, ie. 3 days not 2)

OP posts:
RosettaStoned · 22/08/2018 21:32

Sounds crazy to me but what do I know? You're both still in dating phase, you should be getting to know each other. He's dated other women so he wasn't dating you exclusively - that would be a big no no for me.

This has red flags written all over it. I'd back away now OP

sidesplittinglol · 22/08/2018 21:32

No would be the answer to your question.

Coldshoulders · 22/08/2018 21:35

Reading this I was getting red flags! So he's already cancelled a date and went out meeting other women and when that fizzled out he came back to U? Not trying to sound harsh here but sounds like he's already taken the p*ss out of you, and as you said yourself if he's talking to other women then you cannot mean that much to him. Really sounds like he's making himself sound like a guy who would commit and giving you hope for the future. Maybe telling other women he's speaking to the same thing. Just be careful sounds like u deserve so much better even if it is only early days xx

CakeNinja · 22/08/2018 21:46

Did post about him a few weeks ago? Lots of similarities if not and to the previous thread I posted that basically he seemed like a bit of an idiot and I think the same now.
What exactly is it that you really really like about him? You barely know him. He has dc that he has talked about moving away from, he blows hot and cold, he has been dating since you’ve met (I’m presuming you haven’t?), doesn’t seem like he can really make his mind up about much.
I’d say not to cool down but cool off. You seem way more invested in this relationship than he does.

adviceonthepox · 22/08/2018 23:20

Run away as fast as you can! He isn't a lorry driver by any chance is he? That seems to be their MO. No decent man would move away from their children unless they had no choice at all!

hmmwhatatodo · 22/08/2018 23:37

I’m sorry but you come over as desperate and he sounds like a loser. Bad idea all round.

CakeNinja · 23/08/2018 14:13

Well op? Was it you who posted recently?! I’m curious now Grin

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