Choosing the right Language to explain sex offences to DC

[ratsratsrats]

I posted in 30 days but it's a bit quiet.

Help. I need to explain to DC what sexual assault is. Against a female not child.

Ages 11 and 8.

I do need to do this but I'm struggling with words and phrases and keeping it safe for them.

Does anyone have any advice, suggestions, collaborations of what they teach in school?

Do you have to say it was a sexual assault? Could you not just say it was an attack?

Have you looked at the NSPCC Pants resources? Might help for the younger one at least.

This isnt something teachers would talk chn about without specific training but I am a teacher and this would be my attempt at explaining it to a hypothetical non-work child...

We would talk about how the parts in your pants are private (see the NSPCC pantosaurus video). This covers sexual abuse.

An assault on an adult would then be something about how adults may consent/choose to be undressed together in a loving relationship and may choose to touch each other's privates and this is okay if it is something both adults want to do. But it is not okay to touch another adult anywhere unless they consent/agree to it. Mr A touched Mrs B in a way she did not want. Because she did not say yes, Mr A is now (insert consequence here). Mrs B is being looked after by (insert support here).

Would end with something around how they can always ask questions and a reiteration of the PANTS video.

Hope that helps.

Hiding
Yes see the difference there but attack also seems wrong for same reason!

Lally - someone else mentioned that to me, I thought it might scare them that it could happen to them - it's close to them and I need to steer the other way.

Justlike
Thank you to give teacher input. It helps enormously to check age related etc.
Again, the Pants thing. I will properly look into it

It's not against a child. And I worry the pants thing then makes a connection I don't need to make

My first question is why do you need to explain this to your child in the first place? If you are struggling with the language and how to approach it, is it because it's actually not appropriate for them to know? Not trying to criticise, just trying to understand the context to hopefully help

Sadly they do need to know.

When they are older it would be a case of why didn't you tell me.

I wish with all my heart I didn't have to do this.

I would focus on the importance of being able to consent to someone touching you anywhere, who you can tell if someone doesn't listen, who supports the people who are just and what the consequences are. I would only give details if specifically asked for.

Depending on how recent this is and also who the person is to you, you may also find support through the criminal justice system support networks.

Surely they must know about sex and sexual touching etc at 8 and 11? Start there. Then talk about consent, it's only ok to have sxual contact if both people agree, just like it's not ok to hold someone else's hand if they don't want to. Assault is this contact without consent.