How can I be nice to a "horse"? (And other animals.)

[Goldenbug]

I met some animals in a field today. I recognised them straight away as "horses", like from the advert. A couple seemed quite friendly and walked (trotted?) over to meet me. I didn't have much of an idea on how to be nice to them. I stroked them on their faces (Very boney ) which I think they liked, and patted the bit between the "horses'" head and body (neck?) which the white one seemed to particularly like as it rubbed it's head on mine, drooled on my T-shirt and followed me when I went.

Did I do the right thing? Do they prefer rubbing? Scratching? Hugging?

And not just "horses". Where do you start with a goat? They have actual weaponry on their heads!

Don't try and run through a pack of 'sheep' if you have explosives strapped to your body. You will trip over one, causing you both to explode. Your head will then fall out of a tree onto a 'dog'. I learned this from Four 'Lions'.

Just don’t do a ‘why the long face’ joke. They hate them.

Am absolutely crying at 'swively bits'!

A shoulder bag surely Jarets?

Definitely pat a "goat" next op

I have no idea what is going on here but it really is tickling me

That'll be a "goat" Plants.

Goats look very kicky, bitey, and horny. I assume what works on a "horse" will also work on a goat as they seem to be based on the same design.

What's the best bit of a dog? And should you pat it or stroke it?

You can pat them or stroke them - just don't be ruff.

Do you like “dogs” OP?

I’ve never met a horny “goat”.

Dogs rock.

I feel like I've missed something key here and I don't get it.

But I'm still giggling.

I love you OP

Just leaving this here.

Fun fact OP - you could try and milk a "goat" from dangly bits underneath, however I wouldn't recommend attempting to milk a "horse".

I have no idea why this made me laugh so much

When they’re upside down like this they need to be tickled on their tummus

If you are genuine I would like you to just leave my horse alone. They don’t need petting, stroking, patting or anything else and it just encourages them to look for food from passers by