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Is this a chat up line?

5 replies

Chaichai · 22/08/2018 12:30

Someone at work that I’m in awe of professionally. The big boss. Have a bit of contact but not much. He’s super bright but a bit blunt and not one for social niceties. He’s said a couple of slightly odd things in the past which I’ve laughed off. He’s known for being bad tempered and sour but when I’ve had short meetings he’s been easy to deal with and pretty smiley. Even some more difficult meetings with problems I’ve has to take to him.

Was at work dinner last week. The day after he came to my desk which is highly unusual. He has his own area of office he rarely strays from. Asked me what I’d though of the event and then said you looked really nice last night which I laughed off saying oh well it was a formal do so I stuck a dress on. I was pretty embarrassed and could feel colleagues observing the conversation. He then went on to repeat it twice more. A director stepped in to the conversation and said he needed something and off he went.

Previously when I’ve jokingly talked about a colleague and called him by a nickname and he questioned the informality I said that we’re mates and he doesn’t mind which prompted him to say in front of colleagues “I’m sure he doesn’t fucking mind a good looking younger woman calling him that”

It’s all a bit awkward as I’m pretty senior and could do without raised eyebrows round the office.

I also can’t work out if he’s got an agenda or it’s just his way and I should laugh it off. I have to be careful as he’s the decision maker round here.

Definitely some vibes from him.

OP posts:
Chaichai · 22/08/2018 17:21

A wee bump and apologies for not getting to the point in rambling OP!

OP posts:
JustLurk1ng · 22/08/2018 18:46

Chat up line?

Well not really - more like a patronising, leery comment from a man in a position of power who knows he doesn't have to mince his word and can make patronising, leery comments as he should so wish.

I've got that before - I'm fairly average looking but younger and female (unlike almost everyone I work with) . Well not so young now. I think it's pretty hilarious how some of the male/stale/pales start buying into their own BS. And thankfully it's never crossed the line to the point I stop finding it funny.

I'm sure you've dealt with it before, if you are in a senior position you are probably used to it. Not sure what to say other than hang on in there. Continue to laugh it off, keep it professional but friendly, and tell yourself in ten years he'll be playing golf with his other retired buddies talking about the good old days when his company carries on happily without him.

Chaichai · 22/08/2018 19:07

Thanks your response made me laugh re the pale stale males.

The dynamic is slightly different as he’s unusually young to be in his position. Likewise I’m relatively young for my role so although he’s a bit older it’s 5 years max.

I have had the blatant blatant propositions from older blokes in the past. They never tried again!

OP posts:
wowfudge · 22/08/2018 19:18

Do you fancy him? He sounds pretty awful tbh - the comments remind me of an old boss who had a certain charm but you wouldn't have gone there for all the money in the world. Though others did...

Chaichai · 22/08/2018 19:31

So here’s the thing. I’m massively impressed by him. Massively. And a bit scared of him. I find him nerve wracking to be around. I also really like his dour straight forwardness because he doesn’t accept fluff from anyone. And I’m a bit like that at work.

Being careful what I say as a married woman. I do find him attractive. He’s not model good looking (neither am I by the way!) but he’s good looking in a proper man way (not over groomed) and trains a lot.

I’m just being really stupid and weird I think!

OP posts:
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