A once amazing father now an alcoholic and drug user

[soph12]

I have been with my currently ex and father of 2 children for around 5 years, his father passed last year and has taken it very badly. He has a very addictive personality and has taken to alcohol daily. I had my suspicions that he was doing something harder by strange behaviour very argumentative, abusive, angry and smashing household stuff up. (Infront of the children) I found out he was regularly using cocaine. On the other hand sober he is the loveliest man and brilliant father. I made him leave the family home after finding bags of cocaine. I let him have supervised contact and all was well until he managed to convince me that he would never do it again I truly think he meant that but the drugs got the better of him and there were more lies and deceit. This has been happening for over a year and I decided to buy some drugs test online to test him myself. Anyway he always failed. I desperately want him to be a good father and have a relationship with the children. He can't be trusted to have them alone because of previous things whilst being on drugs. I stupidly can't tell when he has had it it's only when he gets angry that I can tell. I love him and wish we could
Be the family we once were but I know that's never going to happen.
He has had Doctors and counselling and nothing seems to help. What can I possibly do to.

Bin him off I did with my ex he got with an enabler who slated me for not standing by him conveniently forgetting if I had done she would never have got with the love of her life her "functioning" alcoholic who takes drugs they are raising kids around this but I'm the bad one for not 🙄seriously I tried for almost a year but he snuck alcohol into my house took my daughter to his dealers house stole money off us both it's just not worth it

Thankyou for your reply. That's exactly the same as me he says I havnt been there for him when Infact I have done everything I possibly could and given him a million chances. He also calls me a snob because I don't want that kind of lifestyle around my children. I asked him to not turn up to visit the children drunk or on drugs and he Does regularly and says I'm unreasonable. I don't want him in my house seeing the children but that's the only option then he disrespects me shouts screams and punches things. It's a never ending battle

He can see them at a contact centre. He does not have to come to your house. Presumably they’ll remove him from the room if he starts to misbehave. He will have to pay to use it, but I don’t see why you should have him in the house which should be a safe place for them and you.