SAHM returning to work. Dilemma. Please help me choose!

[Dilemmacentral]

I am a single mum. I didn’t return to work after my first 8 years ago. I now have an 8 and 5 year old.

I am pretty lucky. I haveteo iotions on the table.

1. Return to old job. 20 hours a week (45k pro rata so £27k). Lots of very good benefits (private health care, pension, life assurance. Atm I pay £105 for health and £65 for life assurance a month)

The job will be challenging but interesting. One day from home. Two in the city involving 3 hour round commute ontrain (no tube). Will be working in a team, which really really appeals. Big organisation Would need nanny for 9 hours a week totalling £75 Commuting cost per week approx £70

Option 2
Dream job in terms of what I would be doing.
20 hours. 3 days in the office
30 minute drive
15 per hour so about £30k a year
3 hours child care a week totalling £25
No commuting cost other than petrol (£20 a week)
I’d be working alone

I’d really appreciate your thoughts as I am now just going around in circles.
If option 2 involves working in a team - I would probably take it without a second thought. But it doesn’t. It’s working in a mansion’s annex.

Being a single mum I know I'd go crazy working on my own.

Are you the type of person who prefers to have people around you at work or are you ok relying on yourself?

I lean to the former more and although I know I enjoy some alone time to get things done, I know that being alone all the time would eventually eat away at me and my dream job would turn into a nightmare. Social interaction at work is important so unless you have a very active social life outside of work, I would join a team. But that's based on my character. Good luck.

I was surprised when I returned to work how different I felt about "team" stuff. Motherhood changed me and it just didn't seem so important after all. I'd go for the second choice, definitely.

If it was a full time position I'd want others around me at work or it would feel too isolating. But 20 hours? That's manageable for a dream job, and the easier commute is a big plus when you have kids at home.

I think of you want to be in a team I’d go with option 1 as you’ll be happier and there is little difference in pay when benefits are considered. Plus you have one day at home so only 2 days to commute. And working in the city can be a nice antidote to being with the kiddies

@pinkpixie83

Very good point and not one is considered. Specifically being a single mum it would be wise to go for the team rather than more time on my own

@schopenhauer

Option 1 is £45k a year with loads of benefits

Option 2 is £30k With minimal benefits

What about annual leave? Ability to have Christmas and school hols off? Flexibility if kids are ill?

I'd err to option 1 but hard to judge!

2nd option. Go for your dream (job).

I’d also look to the future - job one with bigger company may offer you more options over the longer term in terms of upping your hours/different opportunities.

Yes I think option 1.

It was the single parent comment that swung it. I don’t want to spend 20 hours alone in an office, albeit doing my dream job, and then have my evenings alone too.

Option 2 would m suit the children better and it would definitely be an easier ride, but I think I need to consider my mental health!

But @dilemmacentral you said it’s 45k pro rata and therefore 27k on your hours - why are you correcting PP saying it’s 45k?

I did not

This is what I said

. Return to old job. 20 hours a week (45k pro rata so £27k)

The previous poster said that when I took in to account costs and benefits, option 1 would be similar money to option 2, which I inferred from that she thought option 1 was paid less than option 2.

So I simply clarified the numbers

Thanks for advice, I really appreciate it.

I’ve been twisting myself in to a pretzel about this, but bouncing it off others has really helped me.

But is it not in fact less well paid - it’s 27k plus benefits as opposed to 30k with fewer benefits? I was on 58k FT but am going back PT after mat leave so just focus on my sad new reduced salary . It seems a shame to reject it when it’s your dream job and it’s a comparable overall salary with shorter commute - is there otherwise a lot of contact: meetings, dealing with clients or communicating with other departments/ offices in other locations? I know what you mean though even pre mat leave and living with my husband I liked getting out to court and being in office rather than working from home . Although remember you can have really Fucking annoying teammates...

No. In terms of pay. Option 1 is better paid.

In terms of benefits, option 1 is also better.

Pay and benefits are two different things. Benefits may indeed mean you are financially better off than against a job with better pay but they are different

And it’s not £30k!!!

Option 1 £27k pro rata
Option 2 £15 an hour. This equates to £30k annual. Not sure what that is pro rata

Both options are same hours - 20

is there otherwise a lot of contact: meetings, dealing with clients or communicating with other departments/ offices in other locations?

No unfortunately

I went for option 2. I kind of regret it but I know long term I’ll grow a team around me.

Sorry clicked too soon. I do get the opportunity to speak to my boss 2-3 times a day and I also book in meetings to see clients.

Option 1 is the one I’m going to go for.

I’m a single parent. I love working in a team. I think I’d feel very lonely working in option 2, despite it being my dream job

My boss has suggested I sometimes get out and set up in a Costa etc or a cafe. But I can’t cos my work involves confidential conversations and I worry about GDPr too