Popular phrases / sayings you find inaccurate or just don't like

[SlowlyLosingWeight]

For me there are two main ones:

“There’s always somebody worse off than yourself”. Yes that may well be true Linda, but excuse me for not skipping joyfully from here to San Francisco because so and so’s Auntie’s, Sister’s, Godmother’s Cousin has got problems more depressing than mine. Don’t get me wrong I’m sorry for them but it doesn’t make me feel any better about my own shit. It isn’t a fucking competition.

“Money doesn’t make you happy”. There are absolutely things more important than money. Loved ones and health of course. But let’s be honest... I’d rather cry in a Lamborghini.

I hate hearing people describe themselves as "anal" because they're fussy about tidiness or something. What has a tidy desk got to do with your bumhole? (I'm aware this a Freudian thing, but it's utter shite)

Also "gut". MNers are quite fond of saying "go with your gut" about making a decision. What has an instinctive feeling got to do with stomach/intestines?

Oh and "This too shall pass" can do one.
It didn't pass, he died.

Just re cakes and the having thereof, the Wikipedia entry has a wonderful list of equivalent phrases in other languages.

Monster here is an excerpt from “Gut Feelings: the second Brain in our gastrointestinal systems”.

Also "gut". MNers are quite fond of saying "go with your gut" about making a decision. What has an instinctive feeling got to do with stomach/intestines? Because that's where it's centred.

I never understood the phrase “cheap at half the price”.

I always took "cheap at half the price" to be tongue-in-cheek banter. You pass the market-stall and the man has his patter going "5 for a pound, 5 pound, tell you what I'll do 10 for two pounds" and for a moment "cheap at half the price" sounds like a bargain, until your brain kicks in and you analyse it.

“I shit myself” or “I pissed myself” Oh my goodness, did you really??? Urgh!

Believe me, when saying anything. It suggests anything else you might say is a lie and it’s (I assume!) not necessary to say. It always makes me not want to believe whoever has said it!

@DreamingofSunshine

a patient telling me that muscle weighs more than fat irritates me because it isn't true

Well, it is true, because muscle is denser than fat and thus for a given unit volume, it weighs more. Obviously both 1kg of muscle and a 1kg of fat both weigh, well, 1kg.

Which is heavier, 1kg of feathers or 1kg of gold? Neither, of course. But the volume of 1kg of gold would be far smaller than that of the feathers, as it is more dense and therefore has greater mass/weight.

Mass = density x volume

Many science-based sayings annoy me.

On the subject of fat and muscle, I really dislike people saying 'if you don't exercise, the muscle will turn to fat'! Except it won't, as they are two fundamentally different tissues.

Also, the mistaken belief that all embryos start off as female. The sex of the embryo is determined at the point of conception, when the sperm delivers it's chromosomes to the egg. It carries either an X or a Y. The lack of a penis in the early stages of development doesn't necessarily mean the embryo is female, just that it's yet to grow (if it carries a Y chromosome).

@CigarsofthePharoahs

I didn't know that, very interesting!

People who say "am I the only one who......"

About something relatively common. Yeah, you're not that special

Aldo I've seen a rise in "rant over" at the end of some half hearted, inoffensive comments.

Almost everyone says "You have two choices...". But you don't. You might have two options, but it's only one choice between these options!

Daft use of singular, frequently used in style and beauty type 'advice', ie "a red lip", or "a nude shoe".
So pretentious.

@ElizabethMainwaring
That always makes me laugh. I imagine a lady with odd makeup, hopping down the road with both legs stuffed into one leg of her jeans and wearing a massive shoe.

'it is what it is' grrrr

people who say 'I can't be asked' when they mean 'I can't be arsed'

oh lol the singular - my brother used to do that ''a trouser" "a shoe".

The funny thing is market traders say it as well .."unload the jacket from the van"

I didn't know that cigars.

@ElizabethMainwaring

Yes, also hate the use of 'à la' to indicate 'like/similar to' in fashion mags, e.g. 'wear your sleeves rolled up to the elbow, à la Kate Moss at Coachella'

"Hope that helps" when it's very clear that you have absolutely no desire to be helpful.

My dm has a really annoying habit of saying "as I call it", as if she is the only person to use very common phrases. For example she'll be talking about TV and say "the programme is on at 8pm... primetime, as I call it". It's a lot more annoying than it sounds.

Just saying...

Ha ha! Fourfriedchickens - you're right about the market trader/singular thing!
Twenty years ago I worked at a florists' shop and the owner always referred to 'the flower', as in 'put the flower in the water' or 'unload the flower from the van'. How ridiculous!

It's a lot more annoying than it sounds.

Actually, mostdays, that does sound potentially quite irritating, although I'd be tempted to respond with a humour (or at least a wry response) if my own DM did this. "primetime, as I call it" - "ooh, I wonder what everyone else calls it?" / "primetime, I like that, I might start calling it that, it might catch on. Hey, X, have you heard this expression for mid-evening TV programming?"

no worries when you ask somebody to do their job eg you're in a café, place your order and the server says "no worries" or they bring you a coffee, you say thank you and they reply "no worries".

Seems to be the young ones that do it. They're just doing their job. It always seems to me to imply that I've asked them a huge favour, but they're such a lovely person that they don't mind doing me that enormous favour.

It annoys me way more than it should do.

(I wouldn't mind the phrase being used if somebody was doing me a genuine favour eg I dropped a load of parcels and a complete stranger stopped to help me pick them up)