Well, if you must leave it open!

[Thistledew]

DS has just turned 2. He is mad about all things diggers. There has been some major resurfacing work on the road near us recently and a digger (sorry DS, backhoe loader) has been left parked just down the road for about a week now. DS likes to go and have a good look at it close up. Today he asked to drive it, i.e. sit in the cab. I said "Sorry DS, it is locked", but stupidly to demonstrate the point I tried the door handle.

It's not locked.

It would make DS's week to sit in the cab and pretend to drive for a few minutes.

Would you let him?

But he wants to...The war cry of many parents these days. I fucking despair sometimes.

I'd have thought the best way to teach him that heavy machinery is potentially dangerous and should be respected is to leave shit the fuck alone unless you know what you're doing?

"Assuming I also teach him that heavy machinery is dangerous and to be respected?"

How about you just teach him that other people and their belongings should be 'respected' and that means not touching things that don't belong to you, unless you have the express permission of the owner?

That would be a more appropriate response.

I wouldn't and never did let my kids walk on someone else's wall and I most certainly would not let a 2 year old sit in someone else's digger without their permission.

Why did you bother starting this thread? You clearly think you're right anyway.

No, not ok. Mainly because of respecting property, but there is also risk in building sites and machinery, not to mention that if he does it when older without you he is highly likely to get in trouble. I witnessed two ten year olds getting an awful abusive rant from someone after they climbed in the back of his off road vehicle (I did report the adult).

Pushing the suspension of disbelief now OP..

Here we go again

OP: AIBU
Rest of MN: Yes
OP: No I'm not. You're all wrong and hysterical naysayers.

What was the point in starting this thread? You clearly don't really care what anyone thinks and want to do whatever you want anyway.

Let your precious DS do whatever he wants. Have fun parenting him as a teenager.

It doesn't belong too you. Therefore you don't touch it without permission. Why is it so difficult to understand!

Why did you ask the question if you have no interest in a differing opinion to yours?

Are you just here to bait everyone?

A wall is not a vehicle. It doesn’t have moving parts. It’s not likely to roll away and kill someone or damage property.

There are dangers associated with walking on the average pedestrian wall but they aren’t in any way the same magnitude as interfering with a parked piece of heavy machinery.

I wouldn’t be that pleased if you let your two yo walk along my garden wall.

I’d be horrified if you let your two yo come into my garden and sit in my unlocked car.

I’d probably let the first go unless you damaged my plants, I’d be out like a shot to take you to task over the second.

Assuming I also teach him that heavy machinery is dangerous and to be respected?

Teach him that to be respectful you don't jump in random vehicles maybe?

this Is an excellent example of lazy parenting. Instead of saying ‘ no you can’t have a go because it’s not yours’ you made a lazy excuse and you’ve been caught out. It’s like parents in shops saying ‘don’t do that or the lady will tell you off’. If they need telling off it’s the parents who should be doing it not some random ‘shop lady’.

why is is not remotely the same?

It worries me that you need to ask.

Wall v Digger

🤦🏻‍♀️

I've left my car open if your precious DS wants to sit in a Land Rover? Hop right in.

Or, if he needs the toilet and you can't be bothered to find one - just let him go in my garden (as one entitled mother allowed her precious DD to - it wasn't a number one either!).

Or, radical suggestion, as Whammo would say, JUST SAY NO!!!!

To pour a little oil on troubled waters, I didn't let him sit in it. I posed the question because it made me think about all the decisions that we have to make when we teach our children right from wrong. Of course we don't have permission to sit in unlocked diggers, but neither do we have permission to walk along walls or jump bollards. A 2 year old, closely supervised, is not going to do or cause any harm to the digger just as no harm will be done to the wall or bollard.

It's an interesting thought exercise to try and work out the distinctions. DS is about to enter the "Why?" phase and I want to teach him the reasons why rather than just say "Because I say so" or "it's just how things are".

And those consequences are ...?

What if he accidentally knocked the handbrake off and the digger rolled down the road and into a car, or a person?

Aside from that - you can’t just sit in another persons vehicle without permission! How you would you like it if you came back to your parked car to find a child sitting in it?

Why are you so hell-bent on this? On the one hand, you have the fairly fleeting gratification of letting him do something he wants to do. On the other hand, you have:-

1. It's not your property.
2. You don't know whether it's dangerous. OK, the key isn't in it, but do you have a single clue how these things work? On a simplistic level, do you know whether the brake's on?
3. It would be good for your son to learn that you don't just wander on to someone else's dangerous and expensive equipment just because you want to. Being told by you that it's OK when Mummy lets you but not otherwise won't teach him that lesson.

So what is your overwhelming argument in favour of doing it?

And those consequences are ...?

That is 15 or so years time you have an adult sized entitled cunt living in your house and you come on Mumsnet to ask wtf to do

But you don't get to decide what is right and wrong in this instance. The property, regardless of whether it's locked or not, is not yours to do what you want with because you think it's safe and your son wants to go in!

Also, you genuinely need to stop the comparison between a wall and bollards! It's not the same! People above have commented the reasons why it's different but you're choosing to ignore everyone's comments as it doesn't fit in with your agenda.

I would OP

Sometimes the answer can just be ‘because I said so’. Like, do you expect his teachers to sit down and have a 20 minute discussion with him about why they don’t want him to do something? Because he’ll expect them to, and when they don’t his confusion will manifest in his behaviour.

Entitled is the right word...

If that's an interesting thought exercise for you, maybe you should find a hobby?

This is such a simple 'No, because it doesn't belong to you. Come on, let's go home now. Bye bye digger'.