Should I apologise or is this victim blaming?

[WheresTheEvidence]

I am currently experiencing low level bullying at work.

I am

Ignored both as a staff member (I have a senior role) asking that something be completed but also as an individual (often a whole day will go by without anyone speaking to me)

• Undermined regarding my practise infront of and using clients to make a point

• Being excluded from small things such as decorated letters on a locker door (staff members have used work time and resources to print letters for staff lockers which they then coloured in during company time) to birthday collections whereby everyone presented a card/gift to a senior colleague from the team, which i wasnt aware off or a part off.

• Set up to look bad - with opportu ities to put me on a backfoot.

• I am not able to sit in the staff room due to being made to feel uncomfortable.

I have raised this with my boss who knows there are issues and she has investigated spoken to the 2 that are doing the excluding.

I have been told that 1 of them wants an apology. I said that they were acting childishly when they were telling me to "go away, just go away" several times when I had asked them politely not to do something.

I am in 2 minds. 1 - an apology can besaid and hopefully things move on or 2. Why am I the victim of the bullying been asked to apologise when the others are not apologising to me for their behaviour...

Wwyd?

.

Fuck that.

I’d be asking my manager why they haven’t addressed the issues I brought to their attention previously.

Is the person looking for an apology a big personality who your manager is a bit intimidated by? Because I wouldn’t say “go away” is a very professional thing to say to a colleague, but it is understandable given the background.

i would find another job. colouring in stickers on lockers is infantile enough but the whole place sounds like a playground.

tell boss that you have done nothing wrong and will not apologise, and that you expect basic civilities and adult behaviour in a workplace. not colouring in or birthday parties. if the boss doesnt sort it she is crap, having sex with one of the team ( or both) and nothing will change.

life is way too short for this crap.

In the nicest possible way. ... have you considered that you might be part of the problem here? You may have the best of intentions, and I'm sure you try to be nice to everyone, but it seems that a lot of people are perceiving you the wrong way.

Can you go cap in hand and ask what the real problems are? Are you brave enough?

Having said that, the colouring in does sound completely silly, and it would annoy me too! Maybe you are not compatible with this workplace culture?

This sounds like the weirdest work place I’ve ever heard of. Decorated letters on lockers?

I don't know if I'm missing something. Not sure why you should be apologising. Get advice from a union or acas.

What would you be apologising for?

"Have you considered that you might be part of the problem here? You may have the best of intentions, and I'm sure you try to be nice to everyone, but it seems that a lot of people are perceiving you the wrong way"

I have tried playing this situation 2 different ways I try and allow them the opportunity to do their job with little or no interference and they then dont do any work or I ask them specifically "could you do blah?" and which they refuse or ignore me. And as its now got to a point whereby they wont speak to me and or ignore me I have got no idea how best to play it. So Yes its probably some of my fault as I now come in and keep my head down unless I really need to manage them.

Yes it could be me but its a small team 5 of us and I get on with the other 2 members. Plus when I have had agency staff come in Ive had absolutely no problems both socially and in a work capacity.

And the bosses both think the 2 women doing this arent great at their job and want to keep them separate but dont want to do anything to rock the boat.

Oh and the apology would be for "name calling" calling her behaviour childish

Right, no apology. They are refusing instructions by a senior staff member. They are childish and should be disciplined. You need your boss to step up and sort this out or involve a union.

You need to read nice girls dont get the corner office, pronto. Dont ask them to do something. Tell them.

Are you able to discipline them? Next time they refuse or ignore you give them a verbal warning.