My heart is breaking a bit

[confusedofengland]

No real reason for posting this other than I need to let it out & I can't IRL because I feel like I have to be the strong one for everyone & I can't.

It has just been decided that MIL needs to go the GP because her memory is going, she's getting snappy & unkempt, and she doesn't like to go out any more. We fear dementia or similar (she is nearly 70). I love her & this upsets me

My grandfather (86) has been diagnosed with lung cancer.

My mum is an alcoholic.

My sister (43) has been in hospital for heart problems. She seems too young & fit!

Just all in all a lot to deal with & all come to a head over the last couple of months.

I'm sorry, that seems like a lot to deal with, remember to take time for you

I know absolutely how you are feeling. A few years ago, in the space of 3 weeks, we had two family members die and two almost die. For months after I was scared every time the phone rang. A day at a time is all you can take. Just one step at a time. And you will find strength you never knew you had.

Thank you both. It's good to be able to let it all out. I do confide in DH but understandably he is very worried about his DM so I don't want to pile on more pressure. I've been reading up on dementia & it makes for pretty grim reading

I'm rather struggling with the school holidays too, as DS1 (nearly 10) has suddenly developed a huge attitude & DS2 (7) has autism & the change/lack in routine is tough. So things will hopefully seem easier when they are back at school.

I don't have any fabulous advice, but I just wanted to say "I hear you" and to agree that it really is a lot to deal with. Try to be kind to yourself.

MIL went to the doctor yesterday, she apparently didn't think she needed to but went along happily enough. Doctor has sent her for blood tests to rule out other things, but doesn't think it is anything else. Apparently, this morning, MIL didn't remember going to the doctor, nor to her church social club which she goes to every week

DH is OK, but I know I need to support him the best way possible, it will be tough for him, especially as PILs are 130 miles away so we can't see them very often. But we'll just take each day as it comes.

That’s a hell of a pile to deal with all at once, OP. But please don’t feel you have to be the strong one and support everyone else - you need support too.
Venting on here can help, and you will get lots of online hand holds and sympathy. But you need someone to give you a hug or let you offload in real life too.
Apart from the obvious friends and family, have you spoken to your local minister or priest? They are well trained in pastoral care, and usually have years of experience in helping people through crises and dealing with terminal illnesses in the family.
Above all, they are good listeners, and it can be very comforting.
I’d also recommend giving your stress and worries to God each night in prayer. Ask for the strength to keep supporting those who need you, and let God do the worrying instead of you. It can calm you and help you sleep.
Dementia is a tough road, but all you can do is help MIL to live in the moment and not fret about her memory. If she’s clean, fed and cared for, it’s possible to keep her happy and entertained right to the end. My own MIL had dementia for years, stayed in her own home until the final 3 months, and was smiling at her great grandchild as they watched a toddler’s tv show together, just days before she died.

I hope that you get lots of help and support, OP, and that things turn out to be easier to cope with than you fear at present. God bless.

Thanks Babdoc for the support & kind words. I'm not at all religious, if anything all this makes me even less so, so I'll give that a swerve, but thanks for the suggestion.