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Original poster

When are children old enough to go to the shops by themselves?

16 replies

Samb79 · 19/08/2018 08:18

My DD’s are 9, and we are starting to give them a little more freedom/flexibility, such as coming home from a friends house by themselves (round the corner).

They now want to go to the shop. It’s not far but it’s not round the corner. It will involve crossing a main road - I’ve asked them what they would do and they’ve said they would use the crossing. Is 9 too young?

They’re very sensible, and my gut says they’ll be fine, but the irrational part of me just rubs through all the horrors that could await them!

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 19/08/2018 08:21

Two sensible 9 year olds together wouldn't worry me. Two pairs of eyes and ears for the crossing, and the risk of being snitched on if there's any messing around.

Hideandgo · 19/08/2018 08:22

I was going to say 7.

hidinginthenightgarden · 19/08/2018 08:23

I would let them go but follow them from afar to keep an eye on them the first time.

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Orchiddingme · 19/08/2018 08:25

I would say 9 fine for the corner shop. I would give them a task, ask them to come back home straight away first time. I wouldn't want them hanging about, but practicing walking there, asking for something, paying and walking home is a good life skill.

Mine have gone into town to the shopping centre in the very last term after primary before secondary, often with parents dropping off and picking up or with parent around in town, then by 12 going by themselves/friends, including getting the bus or walking in.

Clairetree1 · 19/08/2018 08:25

well, they are two years from being expected to travel to school on their own, however far that is, aren't they.

Secondary school could be several miles, train journeys or buses away.

Time to start building up the independence.

motortroll · 19/08/2018 08:26

My 9 year old goes to Asda by herself but there's no main roads and she can actually get there without crossing any roads using a roundabout way on the paths.

She can also go to our local nisa which is actually further but again no major roads as she can use the underpass.

I would let my 11 yr old go to McDonald's which is about a 20 min walk.

motortroll · 19/08/2018 08:27

I would add that my 9 year old is queen of sensible and I'd trust her to take my 4 yr old to the park for half hr.

Original poster
Samb79 · 19/08/2018 08:34

Thanks for all your comments. I think I’m going to take hiding’s advice and do a run through first - I’ll follow from a distance.

It’s hard to know when to give them independence isn’t it. When they go to secondary it’s actually closer than their junior school. Where we live is quite quiet, and generally safe so I know I need to let them do more things by themselves!

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 19/08/2018 08:35

DS will be 10 next month. I started sending him to the shop this summer (because the milkman was in holiday!), although it doesn’t involve crossing a main road. The paper shop is on the other side of a main road, and his school just along from that. Crossing the road (there is a pedestrian crossing) is going to be his next challenge!!

Unfortunately his 2 best friends live in different villages, several miles away!

Hideandgo · 19/08/2018 08:37

I send my 5 yr old into the shop with money to pay and he goes to the counter at soft play, restaurants etc himself to buy things. I think we totally underestimate how capable kids are of doing things.

BikeRunSki · 19/08/2018 08:38

Another thing, DS (discussed above) is the king of unobservant, doziness, but given a bit of independence, he seems to step up a bit and becomes quite sensible.

Slimmingsnake · 19/08/2018 08:39

I sit in costa and my nearly 9 yr old has a wander round town ,pops back to me every 10 minutes or so...he goes to the corner shop alone..but I've yet to let him walk the dog alone ,to worried about other dogs being aggressive .

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 19/08/2018 08:42

I could understand the following-from-a-distance thing at 7 or 8, but I think 9's a bit old to need to do that. How far is 'not far'? If we're talking 5-10 minutes, they know the route from doing it with you, and the road has a crossing, this is a very good age to trust them and let them do it.

Original poster
Samb79 · 19/08/2018 08:44

Yep it’s less than 10 mins away. Ok, no following, I’ll let them go later today. I know they’ll be fine, they’re good girls.

OP posts:
Juanbablo · 19/08/2018 09:59

I let almost 11 year old ds1 go to the shop on his own for the first time on Friday. He has ADHD so he can be unpredictable which is why I've left it relatively late to allow this. He went on his bike. Also involved crossing a main road in a quiet village. He did well. He has asked to go again today which I may allow. He will be walking to school alone at some point this year so I need to start allowing more freedom.

OutPinked · 19/08/2018 11:06

I did it at that age and probably a bit younger. The corner shop was a few doors up and I was sent with a list of things to buy. This was the nineties though so times were slightly different.

I don’t think I’d let my DC do it, my eldest is 8. He is sensible but I honestly don’t think he’d have a clue what he was doing.

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