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Original poster

How long in to a new job is it acceptable to get pregnant

25 replies

YesMrsWaterford · 18/08/2018 12:11

I know I know legally employers can’t discriminate and woman should do what they want and not feel guilty etc, but I would feel guilty. I’m hoping to start a new job in the next few weeks and I would love to have baby number 2 in the near future - DS1 is 2 and I’m 32. Would 6 months in to the job be too soon? I don’t know why I feel guilty because essentially it is a job and I’m sure they wouldn’t think twice about getting rid of me if the need arrived, but I don’t want to piss all my new colleagues off. It’s quite a senior role, involves some long term projects but not always. Maternity pay isn’t an issue.

OP posts:

Rhynswynd · 18/08/2018 12:19

I found out i was pregnant a week into my job. I felt guilty but my bosses were professionals and made me feel ok. So.....whenever you are ready.

Janni01 · 18/08/2018 12:47

Whenever you want, but I would say maybe 3 or 4 months in?
That way you've got to know the team, made a mark and proved your worth?

Idontmeanto · 18/08/2018 12:49

Some employers offer better maternity arrangements for longer serving employees. I’d be guided by those, or say a year’s service before taking maternity leave.

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mimibunz · 18/08/2018 12:50

Ask HR for a company handbook. That might help you get a feel for the culture and understand their policies. Ideally, 12 months.

unicornchaser · 18/08/2018 13:03

I think you have to be in the job a certain amount of time to qualify for full maternity pay out so check your contract to be sure!

LeftRightCentre · 18/08/2018 13:06

If you want full maternity coverage, I'd look at my contract before making any decisions.

Goostacean · 18/08/2018 13:10

I worked 8 months before getting pregnant.

Funnily enough my original plan had been 3-4ys with a couple of promotions, but in a team meeting early on they showed the job satisfaction scores for each grades, and it went from 8-9/10 at my level to 6/7 at the next level up, and finally to 3.4/10 at the third level (where I was aiming to get, and then work at that level pregnant). I realised it wasn’t worth the wait 😂

Team were phenomenonally supportive (senior leadership are aware we have a problem supporting new mothers), so it’s been great.

I’d start the role and see what the deal is before making a concrete plan.

Original poster

YesMrsWaterford · 18/08/2018 13:37

I’ll have continuous service so the maternity pay issue will be fine. I’ll see how it goes I guess and make sure I make a good impression first. I was expecting people to tell me I would be a CF if didn’t give it a year first but it’s good to see that’s not the case.

OP posts:

MarchingOrders · 18/08/2018 13:47

I don't think your a cf for getting pregnant at any point into your employment. It's a part of life and your boss has to accept that.
Personally, I'd wait at least six months though so they can see you're a hard working employee and aren't taking the piss ! I get very sick when I'm pregnant and my standard of work would drop drastically and I'd have to take time sick, I doubt any employer would see me as a good worker. I'd want to prove myself first.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 18/08/2018 15:13

I'd wait until you're out of probation and then be guided by when full maternity benefits kick in at your workplace.

Neshoma · 18/08/2018 15:22

There's a difference between what is legal and what is acceptable.

In my old role we got a new manager. She spent the first 3 months talking about her upcoming wedding and looking at bridal websites all the time.

The got pregnant on honeymoon and took virtually 9 months off with morning sickness and pregnancy related illnesses. Then took a years maternity leave and didn't even call into the office on KIT days. Finally returned 2 days a week.

We couldn't start projects or function properly for nearly 3 years. The job was shit and moral was low.

That's Public Sector for you.

amusedbush · 18/08/2018 16:54

And here I was thinking at least two years

Can you tell I don’t have or want kids?

ChunkyNotSoKitKat · 18/08/2018 17:07

I agree with amusedbush and was going to say 2 years but I do have kids

category12 · 18/08/2018 17:11

I think a year is more reasonable - a few months and you'll have barely settled in.

amusedbush · 18/08/2018 17:22

ChunkyNotSoKitKat

Oh good, so I’m not a total dick

Normandy144 · 18/08/2018 17:30

I started trying for my first baby after I had completed the 3 month probation period. I was lucky to fall pregnant after a couple of months and I went on maternity leave just before I completed 1 years service. They were fine about it (they could not really have said otherwise!)

Clairetree1 · 18/08/2018 17:34

I don't think you should ever plan your family around your job.

In 10 years time, who cares what job you were in when you got pregnant? But if you missed your chance to have another baby, you will regret it forever

flumpybear · 18/08/2018 17:34

I had continuous service br new job - in fact I took that job because I'd had so much trouble ttc I just wanted something good for myself and this job was a step up and movement to senior management from academia

I think that the new job distracted me enough to actually help me fal pregnant - three months after starting! I told them after 17 weeks and they were delighted for me - I'm still there and DS is now 6.5 years old

Clairetree1 · 18/08/2018 17:35

speaking as someone who went from normally fertile, as far as I knew, to no chance ever, in the space of one morning in a hospital outpatients...

no warning, nothing.

marcopront · 18/08/2018 17:49

I think the woman who did my maternity leave cover got pregnant the week she started work. She was kept on part time when I came back and the baby was born just after the school holiday started (we are teachers).

flumpybear · 18/08/2018 17:49

@Clairetree1 is right - just do it

Foodylicious · 18/08/2018 17:54

I think 6 months is more than fine.
That way if you told them at 12 weeks you would have been there 9 months, and depending on when you start leave, would have been in post 13-14 months?

And it may not happen strait away, but I think for my own sake I would to feel like I knew the team and the job well before going on leave, makes it easier for you on return after mat leave.

Original poster

YesMrsWaterford · 18/08/2018 18:49

Yeah I’ll see how it goes, I wish I wasn’t such a people pleaser.

OP posts:

Goostacean · 18/08/2018 19:02

Horrible, horrible experience for clairetree :(

However, I’m in a similar position with TTC#2, and whilst I agree that the exact job you’re in probably won’t matter- the timing may affect your career longer term. I’m not in love with my current job, but I like that it opens doors for me, and that is a factor in my decision. (I even wrote a thread about it earlier this week!)

schopenhauer · 18/08/2018 19:08

I did 9 months in and told them after 12 months. It was ok but it did feel a bit early. However in some ways I think it’s good to get it out of the way earlier and then you can be more focused when back... having said that I returned pt, but that actually works well for our firm.

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