What to do with my life?

[erbium]

[NC]
I've just had quite a big life change and things are starting to settle back into the new shape of things and I need to re-evaluate my non-existent life (currently work-eat-sleep and then wait for weekends to be over so I don't feel like such a loser. Don't really have any friends).

I have been going to a gym/classes for a few months and am finding that quite enjoyable and motivating. And the positive physical effects are most welcome/needed! It's an all-in membership so it wouldn't cost me anything extra either.

So my question is, would it be U to make fitness my free time thing? As in make that my biggest hobby (outside solitary stuff like reading and watching TV etc), or is it unsustainable?

Why wouldn't it be? It'll keep you healthy and active and in turn will get you out of the house and meeting new people. All good
stuff for both your physical and mental health.

Not U at all.

Yes I agree it will keep me healthy, but I am not so sure on the meeting new people. It's very much come in, do thing, go home, albeit with a friendly greeting or groan of sympathy midway through a tough class!

There's no real social aspect to it (although some people come as couples or friends so they naturally just chat to each other and I can't really just butt in). And tbh, I really like it that way as I am so inept at social communication!

I posted as I wasn't sure if I should be pushing myself out of my comfort zone a bit. But maybe I just need to give myself a break for a while?

You could always use it as a stepping stone to take up a sport which would have a more social aspect to it?

Not U in the least. It brings you happiness and it’s great for your physical and mental health!

I think we have this idea that socialising is this BIG thing, when actually it is the sense of quiet camaraderie in a class, a quick chat with a stranger at a bus stop, the small talk at work that keeps most of us content and feeling plugged in. You don’t have to be a social butterfly. Simple closeness and contact with people is good for us. It doesn’t have to turn into social commitments. And I imagine over time, you’ll find kindrid spirits at the gym with whom you can hang from time to time. I think it’s wonderful that you’ve found such a fulfilling, new hobby!

I don't know what it says about my state of mind, but your kind and insightful observations made me well up, @TheVanguardSix. Thanks to you and other pps for taking the time to post.

I know I am lonely and alone (I differentiate between the two) but I am also too afraid to let down the (fragile) defences again. Rock and a hard place.

If you feel like doing something more social, try meetup.com
They have running, walking and hiking groups in my area. They do day hikes in different places on the weekends.

I was very lonely and alone in a new city.

I joined a karate class at the local gym hoping to make some friends. I met my future DH

Sport has always been my hobby , I'm not otherwise very sociable.

There are no relevant meetup groups in my area unfortunately. And I am really not in the right mind to start one either (I infuriate myself sometimes, so apologies if I sound a right debbie downer).

I am glad it worked out so well for you @SnowOnTheSeine, that gives me hope.