Date Nights

[MartagonLilies]

I know the term date night isn't overly popular on here, it's just the easiest one to use for this.
How do you have them? DH and I always say that we'll have Friday nights as date night, however by the time it actually roles around, we are exhausted. It becomes more of a chore, rather than anything else.

We want to make time for one another, have some time to connect. Maybe cook a nice meal together, or have a board game tournament, or if we're feeling really wild, nip down to a lovely pub for dinner and drinks.
We can't seem to do it - we are just shattered and want to veg out in pjs whilst binge watching and shoving toasties in our faces

Has anyone managed to crack this ? Will we have to wait for years, until we emerge the other side of child rearing not liking each other that much?

Could you change the day to Saturday night instead? Me and DH are shattered on Friday night but manage a nice meal or film night on Saturday.

Duchess We did briefly try that, and are considering giving it another shot. We still had the same issue though, especially after a family day out.
We do kind of suck it up sometimes, and do it anyway. It never ends up being too fun though, as we're just so bloody tired.

I'm shamelessly bumping because I think the title has put MNetters off it's Friday night, and I'm on here and DH is gaming.

We aim for one a month with something planned but having a 1.5 year old and a 7 month old it really just doesn't work!

@Timeforanothernewone Do you ever manage to pull it off? If so, how??
If not, do you feel like you need them? I realise that sounds incredibly nosy btw, so apologies!

We pick one night the previous week. It changes depending on what each of us has on that week.

We get DS to bed then play a game, watch a film or just chat (unless on the rare occasion we can get a babysitter). But no phones, laptops or electronics are allowed.

Ah do be nosey. It's all good
Sometimes we do. These days it consists of those Tesco meal for £10 things after the boys have gone to bed. Easy, convenient and comes with a bottle of wine. I think we've managed three since my 7 month old was born

We bought a sushi making kit which we're planning on doing tomorrow. Just a random home date idea, should be a bit of fun.

So, we only have one DC, who is 9. We are in our 50s, work and are pooped by Friday evening (I work alternate weekends to complicate matters).
So we plan an annual leave or toil/flexi time day when our DC is at school (previously childminder). We are working on extending this with a sleepover. One day ...
For context, until her first sleepover this year we only ever got to have a night out if my mum visited (from abroad) or good friends stayed and babysat. Although we were often too tired to do much more than a meal out or quick trip to the cinema.
At £10 an hour we can't justify a paid sitter are too stingy.
But other cosy moments have included lying in bed doing a crossword together/snuggling on the settee watching a film we are both keen to see and decorating the kitchen together it was bonding, but I'm not letting him near a paintbrush again!
To give you a little hope: now she is a bit older we can give her a little freedom and have that time for ourselves (small steps) but we left her alone for the first time this week in our holiday home while we walked (hand in hand with no distractions) to the F&C shop to pick up a takeaway. It was small, but lovely. It was 25 minutes in total and she had my phone and we called to check she was ok. Gave lots of instructions before we left. She was thrilled, it wasn't planned. But went well.

If your both exhausted, Instead of cooking a meal you could order takeaway pop a movie on and snuggle on sofa with a drink

I think the biggest thing is phones away! Then we actually talk to each other

These are lovely replies, thanks
We have 3 dc, only two of which are little (older one is a teen)
I like the idea of takeaway and a film. I think we avoid it as we spend most evenings in front of one screen or another

Sushi kit sounds good, as does the dine in for 2 deals.

We get drunk! I've always got more energy after a couple of glasses of wine and we've more to say to each other!

My parents have the kids for a day and a night approx once a month and we usually do something we used to enjoy before we had the kids, maybe bike ride/hike followed by country pub or going to a gig. I find I need a fun daytime activity to give me the kick up the bum to not just lounge on the sofa watching telly.

NoNoNo

My parents live abroad (although the DC do go to visit once a year)
My MIL does not babysit. Ever.
A day time date would be great, if we could sort it on a regular basis.

So picture this, @MartagonLilies - we've drunk a whole bottle over cooking dinner. Our Tesco Meal for £10. We've added a couple of extra veggies to our dinner. Unfortunately a little late sitting down. Literally sat down five minutes ago. I'm now currently sat on my own as the big one has kicked off and is screaming. I'm just happy that I'm drunk on half a bottle of wine and it's his baby kicking off and not mine so currently date night on my own!!

Daytime dates are good and particularly if you have to take a day of annual leave to do it. Almost feels like playing hookie.
Bil and sil seem to have a good system they have a date night once a month. Her mum babysits. They make sure they get out the house. They book a table somewhere sil gets dressed up and they go out for dinner and a bottle of wine. They don’t let themselves call off because they are tired or because sil can’t be arsed getting dressed and they always end up having a lovely time.

We don’t do a regular date night but I think once a week can become a chore and stop feeling special. It ends up feeling forced. I also think that staying in can kill it because it’s really easy to just stick your jammies on a and it’s like everybody other night. I know that dh never seems hotter to me than when we’ve had a bit of time away from the dc even a few hours and away from the house.