What do you do to feel better?

[HarshingMyMellow]

I'm emotionally drained. Ive just had enough.

Surprise pregnancy (found out at 22 weeks), toddler DD, single mum after ExP walked out (no help from him since), NC with mother, father works a lot.

I'm struggling.

Dd has been an absolute little shit today. Screaming tantrums, getting every toy out and then walking away from it before getting out another (not playing with them at all - just destroying the house), won't listen and the answer to everything is either 'why?' or 'no!'

I'm not sleeping at the moment (4 hours in as many nights, have got a constant headache and am switching between wanting to cry my eyes out, flip into an apoplectic rage or just take off and leave everything behind.

Please, has anyone got some self care tips to chill me out and hopefully get a good nights sleep? I'm exhausted and frustrated.
What do you do when you feel like shit?

I'm usually much stronger.
But you know it's all gotten too much when burning the fish fingers sends you into floods of tears

If you can get a baby sitter for a few hours I find a long walk by the coast or in the

Continued or in the countryside x

With toddler dd- could you just get her to watch a dvd so you can take a few moments.

I bought myself flowers and ice cream today. I do small things that help lift my mood. It can be as simple just be showering with nice soap or having a lavander candle burning.

@greengizmo I'll see if I can get someone to watch Dd for a bit tomorrow. I've only really got exMiL so hoping she's free.

@Orangecake123 she won't sit still! I've tried DVDs, Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol. She watches for maybe 30 seconds then walks off to start trashing the place again
I'd kill for a bath and some candles now. Can't even get 10 minutes for the shower.

Eat well and try to sleep. Try Ovaltine, lavender spray, basically anything that gets you off to sleep. If you eat healthily and are rested it makes everything easier to cope with.

There's an idea called the 'me holiday' written by Sally Donovan. Basically you stop doing anything non essential. Kids get more screen time if that helps, dinner is simple. No fancy cooking. Freezer food, fruit, jacket potatoes etc. Ironing, hoovering etc can wait.

Honestly I'd lay on the sofa with a book and let dd get out all the toys she wants. It's only mess, it can be tidied tomorrow when you might find yourself in a better headspace. I'd give cereal for dinner and just do the minimum to conserve your energy. Xxx

DD is trying to tell you something; probably picking up on your stresses. Could you go out to the park; let her run off some of her feelings.

Very difficult OP; hang on in there and make your DD feel loved and secure and try to get that break.

I admire your resilience, that sounds really tough. I found really early (like 8pm) bedtimes a bit helpful, but tbh the thing that saved me with pregnancy insomnia was being prescribed some antihistamines for morning sickness that had the side effect of helping me sleep.

When shes in bed tonight can you take an hour to "child proof" the place.

As in get everything child related from every part of the house into the hall, ready for tomorrow when she wakes up so you can get all toys/ her stuff into her bedroom. I'm assuming as a toddler she can't open the door herself. Then start enforcing that her room is her space, and the rest of the house is mums space. She can play in the living room with you, but she brings a few toys through and then puts them back in her room when she's finished and chooses some more to come through.

I've always strictly done this rule with mines (I dispise clutter so I have to for my own santity!) but I find it works wonders. You will need to help them as shes still very little, but I see the difference between my kids and my mums kids (same age) who have toy boxes etc in the living room and it's absolutely night and day! Get a stair gate on the door so she can't just wander in and trash things.

I'd spend the weekend sorting this out and create a space for yourself that is calm, clear, and somewhere you can really wind down and relax. Dedicate an hour a day to it and afterwards reward yourself with a hot bath, or shower, and a new season on netflix / new book or something and just have some you time with a cup of tea. Read up on Hygge it's genuinely the little things in life like lighting a few candles or putting on fluffy PJs. They all help me to relax and unwind but I think THE MOST important thing is trying to sort out your environment so it's clear and can't be trashed as easily by DD.

Some really good ideas here, thank you.

I really just want a long, hot bath and an early night but DD hasn't been going to sleep much earlier than 9:30 at the minute.
So from her actual bedtime (7:30) till when she finally falls to sleep I have to keep putting her into bed, in between tidying up the chaos in the house, making something to eat for myself, washing, ironing etc.
When she finally does go off (10:30 last night!) I have to do some work for my degree and I'm too drained to do anything at all, but the minute I get into bed I can't sleep.

I do things with her all day. Soft play, parks, adventure playgrounds plus lots of activities at home. She has unlimited energy.

@MariaWaria  I try so hard to keep it from her. I really do.

@LightningB I'm going to try that tonight. I need my space back!
I'm being suffocated by clutter.

It just feels like a momentous, never ending task at the moment.
She's up at 7am like clockwork. I'm running after her all day, doing activities/going places, trying to potty train...
And now she's going through sleep regression and I don't even have the nights to myself.

When I finally collapse into bed it's like I've gone past tired and I physically cannot switch off enough to sleep, even though I'm exhausted.