OH lost his job today what can we do now?

[MrsHunterx]

I feel so gutted for him even though he says he's not to bothered. He's only been there for four weeks he took yesterday of to take me to the hospital because I was bleeding (36 weeks pregnant) and this morning they have sacked him.

We have about £6000 in savings and 300 in our current account I feel silly saying things are tight but our savings have never been so low.

Are we entitled to any benefits because we have savings? He wants to hold of getting another job until dd is here so he can spend time with her.

Any advice would be appreciated x

"When you've had your first kid and 36 weeks pregnant with your second and your exhausted come back and tell me how much you cook at home every week smile"

(Raises hand slowly and says "I cooked tea for 4 days out of 7, dp did the other 3 and I did all lunches as I was at home")

It can be done, although we did go through a phase of eating beans on toast or cheese on toast or about 3 other fairly bland meals when it was my turn to cook because I was knackered, or we had the odd takeaway, much cheaper than eating out. Sometimes it is ok to just eat to not be hungry, doesn't have to be gourmet food every night.

In that case I’ll come back to you now, since you requested me to!

I work 50 hours a week, am in my third trimester and have a step daughter who lives with us 50% of the time. I also look after my mother who is terminally ill, and I cook a meal from scratch every single night because my other half works 7-7 5 days a week in order to save so I can get through my maternity leave.

I just posted today about how exhausted I am:

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3338673-tiredness-in-third-trimester-i-m-a-zombie

So I do know how you feel and I do know that even if you’re pregnant you can still cook meals, even if that just consists of shoving something in the microwave (and I’m sure your partner can cook also as I’m guessing he is not pregnant and is able to use an oven!)

Even if you are knackered (I had an awful second pregnancy and a toddler underfoot so I sympathise) at the very least you can do pasta or some freezer food! Eating out because you can’t think what to cook is just mad. BBC good food is useful to help you do a meal plan.

Hope he gets a job soon, fingers crossed!

@TTEA well maybe if your so exhausted you need to write a thread about it you should go out to eat or order a takeaway

When you've had your first kid and 36 weeks pregnant with your second and your exhausted come back and tell me how much you cook at home every week smile

You wot?

Lots of us have two (or more!) children, and the majority of us cooked at home all the way through our pregnancies every night, because that's what most people do. Not least because we were saving for my maternity leave.

He needs to get into job hunting mode asap.

Loads of us can pile in and say we have more than two kids cook every night but that would be unnecessary.
OP
Lots of recipes on here.

Ok well I cooked most evenings when I had newborn twins and then again when I had a newborn and two year old twins do I win a prize?

And DH was made redundant when baby was 6 months old so I went back to work full time while he stayed at home.

We were claiming benefits at the time and continued to until ineligible which is fine - you’re entitled to find out what support is out there but reality is your partner was let go within probation and needs to get another job.

Queen

I don't think those savings will affect eligibility for most benefits, as they're quite low and will last months rather than years.
Some people here must think anyone can just go out and get a job. He could be applying for several every week and still be long term unemployed. It doesn't necessarily even depend on his field, it's tough to get any job these days.
You do right to be considering benefits in the meantime. Best of luck!

Yes of course i dont mind working really hard and paying tax for him to have a nice time at home.....
I work in this industry and strongly suspect there is more to his 'sacking' than being let on.
Tell him to support his own family, get off his backside and get a job.
Leave the benefits for people who really need them ffs.

I cooked whilst pregnant with my youngest, looking after a very lively wild 3 year old and a 6 year old child with complex SNs.

I also did the bedtime routine & stories for both of the older 2 whilst heavily pregnant - to the point of 1 night I was having contractions and doing pelvic exercises recommended to bring on the labour... After FINALLY getting the wild one to sleep, I called the midwife (home birth) who arrived 40 mins later. It was a rush to get everything sorted for youngests birth roughly around 2 hours after reading said bedtime story... to the point of he was born on the sofa and the pain relief was still packed away at the other end of the room.

Do I win?

OP, like many pp’s I must admit to being a little gobsmacked by some of your posts.

Was your DH a pretty high earner by any chance? To be honest you do sound a little like a spoiled princess used to living the “High life” whilst your DH doesn’t appear to be in a rush to find another position which may suggest he works in an area of high demand. (A drop of £800 per month alone is huge 😱)

Really hope I am correct and he finds another position pretty soon although as two mature adults I really think you should both learn to cook/meal plan and budget better if only to be good role models to your DC.

Good luck with your baby!

Way to pile on someone, she can't get the money back from the meals out she's had. It's easy to get in the habit of eating out/ready meals when you're stressed and have money coming in. Good thing is that's it's a pretty easy thing to cut when you need to tighten your finances.

Auto companies seem to be a law to themselves - I have family members who work for them and they have really strange terms and policies that aren't normal. People seem to put up with a lot to keep working for them.

When you've had your first kid and 36 weeks pregnant with your second and your exhausted come back and tell me how much you cook at home every week smile

😂 this made me laugh. You think everyone who is pregnant with an older child just eats out all the time?
19 month gap between mine. Either I or DH cooked every day until she was born, and every day thereafter. Now pregnant with my third (and have a 4 and 3 year old) and guess what? Still cooking. Just like pregnant people the world over.

@youarenot you win

I'm not in a competition guys I'm sure a lot of you do but eating out and having takeaways is what we've just always done we could always afford to.

I have spd and an over active thyroid which makes me constantly tired cooking a meal every night isn't for me. So I'm sure from now on it will just have to be beans on toast!

If your DH isn’t working why can’t he cook?

@MrsHunterx I think I was more in awe that you could eat out with your DC! I wouldn't have been able to keep my wild one at the table, my eldest has too many sensory issues to be able to patiently wait for food and when you have a child like mine who can and is wild (and frankly can be a bit of an arsehole when hangry) then you just don't take them out... and babysitters ghost when it's a wild one! haha

I hope things with your pregnancy are smooth sailing, I also had quite a few scares with mine - to the point of wanting to keep me in hospital after one scan to induce me. When I experienced an issue which sounds a little like yours (complete with mucus plug) the baby was making his appearance less than 36 hours later.

When you've had your first kid and 36 weeks pregnant with your second and your exhausted come back and tell me how much you cook at home every week

I had 27m old DS when I was 36 weeks pregnant with DD. DH works very long hours as a Deputy Head, I cooked at least 4 proper meals a week Monday-Thursday for us. TBH it was easier than going out to eat at night when we were tired and just wanted to chill.Why would being 36weeks pregnant stop me being able to cook? I used to prepare it earlier in the day and eith put it in a slow cooker or in the fridge ready to cook.

@SoyDora yes but could you afford to eat out as many times as you liked did you cook because you had to?
He's only just been sacked today he can cook from now on.

He took a job paying £800 less/month 4 weeks ago and you were still dining out and getting takeaways. You need some budgeting advice quickly. Moneysavingexpert site or on here.

I agree with DoneDisappeared, well said.

OP I had PGP in pregnancy and it was awful, i couldn’t stand or walk for long at all without pain. Luckily DH did the cooking and washing up, otherwise we would have had a lot of ready meals and takeaways! Anyway I feel your pain

yes but could you afford to eat out as many times as you liked did you cook because you had to?

Yes, we did. And with 3 kids and both of us having FT jobs, whilst pregnant and tired, working. In order to build up our savings to buy a home, support our kids, for emergencies. I don't know anyone who just eats out as much as they like or get takeaways because it's a well known waste of money and should be only an occasional treat unless you're the likes of Bill Gates rich.

No, I was referring to the fact that you said ‘from now on it will just have to be beans on toast’. As he’s not working from now, it won’t have to be beans on toast will it?
No I didn’t cook because I hadto, we could afford to eat out if we wanted (and occasionally do). However we generally prefer home cooked food, we use our excess money to build up our savings, plus we share the cooking despite me being a SAHM and DH working.

Op temping is brilliant idea.. Will keep money coming in, it's more flexible.. Once he gets role he can say baby here and not work for we keir two. But he will be in the system whist he looks for proper jobs

People can be out of work for a very long time. If he has amazing skills everyone will want fine but just choosing when to work again..

I'm sorry, but I have zero resentment working 55 hours a week and government taxes supporting people who are unable to work to support themselves, are homeless, disabled, ill, etc.

I massively resent taxes paying for people to go out for dinner more in a month than I do in a year because they can't think of what to cook, people with more savings than I have had in my life, or having a jolly extended paternity leave.

Fuck that.