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Original poster

Only child- should we take a friend on holiday?

38 replies

bupcakes · 17/08/2018 09:47

We've had two holidays this year with DS (8) and he gets so, so bored. When he was younger he'd do all the activities and makes friends no problem, but he finds it harder now he's older.

Thinking of offering to take one of his friends with us next year- can anyone see any problems with this? Not abroad, just to Centerparcs. Friend is also an only child so I'm fairly sure his mum will say yes, and the boys get on really well.

Is this a good idea?

OP posts:

eurochick · 17/08/2018 09:52

I'm an only and would have loved it.

Just make sure you square away who is paying for what in advance (based on threads on here!).

SageYourResoluteOracle · 17/08/2018 10:09

This is something that we've discussed for DD 7 for when she's a bit older. I think it's a lovely idea!

Original poster

bupcakes · 17/08/2018 10:11

We would pay for it all.

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8 year olds Families

Walkingthedog46 · 17/08/2018 10:20

We sometimes took our DC’s friends on holiday with us. It cost very little extra and the bonus was they were off playing happily instead of bickering between themselves. Happy days!,

JellySlice · 17/08/2018 10:23

I was the friend on a couple of holidays like this. It was great!

Before we went on holiday together I had several sleepovers, including long weekends. I suspect it was as much a way for the parents to see whether they would get on with me, as for me to get used to their ways. But it was discreet - I did not know anything at that time about their plans to invite me on holiday.

JellySlice · 17/08/2018 10:27

We would pay for it all.

This happened with us as well, and it was a deal-breaker for my parents. They insisted on contributing. I don't remember how the arrangement ended up.

Leeds2 · 17/08/2018 10:28

We took several of DD's friends away with us. Think the first was aged about 8, to Centre Parcs! Never had a problem.

Doingthedo · 17/08/2018 11:01

Just taken a friend for our oldest DS age 14 ad we have DD12 and DS10...seemed crazy taking 4 when we only have 3 but it was great. Go for it!

Sgtmajormummy · 17/08/2018 11:22

I took DC2 and three 11yo friends on holiday for a week and they all said (not just to me) it was the best holiday “of their LIVES” !! Plenty of tears when we dropped then home, and a couple of reunions later they’re still saying it.

OK it was a huge responsibility for me, taking 3 unrelated minors to a foreign country and I laid down some pretty strong rules (which were relaxed as the kids proved they could be trusted) but it was worth it. The experiences they lived through meant DC2 now has 3 honorary siblings, much more than friends!

Sgtmajormummy · 17/08/2018 11:24

BTW their parents covered their expenses so I wasn’t out of pocket but they effectively had a very cheap study holiday abroad.

DorothyGarrod · 17/08/2018 11:52

Great idea! The only thing I would want to be careful of is that I knew how physically competent the other child is. Eg how strong a swimmer is he? Obviously you will supervise anyway but I would want to be aware in advance if he could cope with the rapids etc.

Original poster

bupcakes · 17/08/2018 14:35

Ah this has been more positive than I expected! Yes very good point about checking swimming ability. And some practise sleepovers are a good idea!

OP posts:

Redgreencoverplant · 17/08/2018 14:43

We plan to do this when DS is older as he is an only :)

Chewbecca · 17/08/2018 14:47

We have an only & we make sure we go somewhere where we can be confident he will make a friend or 2. We cruise mostly which DS absolutely loves.

mayhew · 17/08/2018 14:49

We did this as our daughter got older. Deal was, parents paid airfares and pocket money and we covered accommodation, food and entry fees.

hilbil21 · 17/08/2018 14:51

I'm an only and would have loved it so much. Definitely do it if you can

Starlighter · 17/08/2018 14:56

I’m an only child and my parents did this! When I was younger my best friend (also an only child conveniently!) and I would often do holidays (UK only) with each other’s families. It was great. I also brought other friends along sometimes too. My parents paid for everything, my friends just brought spending money (for sweets, toys, arcade, etc).

Maybe do a couple of sleepovers first to test the water?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 17/08/2018 14:59

My in laws have just done this. Both girls are 11 and had a great time together.

rookiemere · 17/08/2018 15:02

We've currently got DS's friend away with us on a foreign holiday and have taken a pal to CP as well. Definitely go for it - I think our trip To CP earlier this year was a real highlight for DS .

I think the only issue I have is trying to ensure that other DC has a good time as well as natural politeness means its hard to get any preferences out of them

CakeNinja · 17/08/2018 16:32

Dp and I were talking about this when we were on holiday. Our 2dds are getting older and at some point in a few years time they’ll not want to come on holiday with us anymore but ds will still be young. We said we’d probably bring my nephew away with us as the 2 boys are very close in age and get on really well.
Makes life easier for everyone providing they have a good relationship.

HemanOrSheRa · 17/08/2018 16:39

Definitely! DS is an only and we've been taking a friend for a couple of years now. When he was younger he had no problem making friends when we were away but finds it harder as he's got older as it's 'weird' to walk up to children and say 'Hello. My name is....do you want to play football/catch/ hide and seek'. As long as it's not too long a break while they are that young (homesickness) it's a great thing to do. I'm taking DS and his mate (both 13) abroad next week! DS is so excited . His mate is excited as he has 2 little siblings, so he gets a few days away from them. Win Win .

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 17/08/2018 16:43

We took a friend of dd2 (both about 10) when dd1 was going to be elsewhere on a school trip. It worked very well, they both really enjoyed it.
Parent of the friend was widowed and not well off so we paid all expenses, but it was in U.K. outside high season (a half term) so not megabucks anyway.

underneaththeash · 17/08/2018 16:45

We ended up taking two extra children to CP this year (their mum was meant to be coming too, but ended up with a vomiting bug.) so including my children they were 11,11,10,9 and 7. DH doesn't like it, so it was just me and we had a great time.

Whoever you bring I would check they can swim, ride a bike well and aren't enormously fussy about food - I did end up cooking different meals a couple of times.

DolorestheNewt · 17/08/2018 16:58

I've experienced a successful and an unsuccessful version of this.

We took a friend of DS's with us a couple of years ago. I paid for it. It helped that the child in question is a particularly chatty and companionable boy, and he and DS like to do similar things. Worked really well.

If I did it again, if it's a considerable and easily definable extra expense, like an extra plane ticket, I would discuss a contribution, as it can leave the other family feeling a bit awkward, and as though they've got to reciprocate in some way. I wouldn't ask for money for accommodation, as it barely increased what we would have had to spend anyway. If we were hoofing off in the car on a self-catering, I wouldn't ask for anything.

We also joined another friend and her DS the following year. Although her DS and mine are close, what they like to do on holiday turned out to be rather incompatible, so it wasn't so successful. Weather was a factor, too: one child was really happy in very hot temperatures, the other was really struggling.

On balance, tho, I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

Original poster

bupcakes · 17/08/2018 17:05

I'm really pleased to hear success stories (and not so much, just for balance!) and it's made me really think we'll do it. We wouldn't ask for money as it's barely any more cost really to add another child (apart from activities but we're happy to cover those!).

OP posts:

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