Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

WWYD re sleepover

32 replies

Mintychoc1 · 16/08/2018 20:13

DD (9) is going to a sleepover this Saturday . 9th birthday party, 7 kids, all girls, all friends. The plan is that they will camp in the garden. Birthday girl has told DD that neither of her parents will be sleeping in the tent with them. I’m nervous about this, but I don’t want to be rude by asking birthday Mum if it’s true. What does everyone else think?

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 16/08/2018 20:16

Sounds fine to camp out in a tent in the garden

NC4Now · 16/08/2018 20:16

It depends a lot on the garden. Where I grew up it was common to camp out. It was a quiet village, very safe. The back door was open, kitchen light on and half the time we’d end up inside.
I wouldn’t let them camp out where I live now. I’d worry about safety, strangers and wouldn’t like to leave my house unlocked.

So in short - totally depends on the garden.

hidinginthenightgarden · 16/08/2018 20:17

As long as they can contact parents if they want to come in, I'd be okay with it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9 year olds Families
user1493413286 · 16/08/2018 20:19

I think that’s fair as long as the kids can get back into the house.

washewihersen · 16/08/2018 20:24

Sorry but I wouldn't be happy about this personally. If the kids were older, say teenagers and the garden was enclosed, I wouldn't mind. But not age 9 and not without more supervision. It's a bit mean as well, the host not sleeping out with her friends. Very strange.

Original poster
Mintychoc1 · 16/08/2018 20:27

Birthday girl will be in the tent, but not her parents. I have no idea if the house will be locked or unlocked. The garden is enclosed and looks safe. It’s in quiet suburbia.

OP posts:
TheCrowFromBelow · 16/08/2018 20:50

I’d be Ok with it at my house but our garden is enclosed by a 6ft fence plus taller shrubs, the side gate is always locked and I have a massive dog. And for 8/9 yos I’d probably also sleep downstairs.

PerverseConverse · 16/08/2018 21:44

I wouldn't be happy. I remember all too well that little girl who was taken from a tent in a garden. Think it was Llandudno. Many years ago now but stuck with me.

PerverseConverse · 16/08/2018 21:45

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MurderoffSophieHook

underneaththeash · 16/08/2018 21:48

I wouldn't be happy with that either.
Most gardens aren't secure - we have massive fences and electronic gates and a recent burgular managed to jump over them very easily. Are they going to leave an external door unlocked so that they can get in if need be?

whiteroseredrose · 16/08/2018 21:53

I wouldn't be happy if he parents were upstairs in bed. However when DD had a sleepover in a tent in the garden I slept in the kitchen on an air bed with the door open. So I wasn't actually with them but very close by. I'd clarify the situation.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 16/08/2018 21:55

I wouldn't be happy with this. It depends on the garden itself, the area they live, how mature the children are, too many factors to worry about to make this worthwhile. They should be indoors with supervision imo.

Usernom1234567890 · 16/08/2018 21:57

Have to say the same as Perverse.
That's the first thing that came into my mind too.

spiderlight · 16/08/2018 21:58

I'm planning similar for DS and a friend in a couple of weeks. They're 11 but DS did it on his own this time last year with no problems. Our garden is pretty secure and I slept downstairs with the dog, within earshot of the tent, and the back door was open so he could come in if he wanted. I expected him to last about ten minutes but he slept like a log until about 10.30 the following morning.

ladybirdsarelovely33 · 16/08/2018 22:05

There is no way. Your gut is already telling you this isn't safe. Older by a few years, then maybe yes.

Mulberry72 · 16/08/2018 22:08

Have you asked the birthday girls DM what the plan is?

MadeForThis · 16/08/2018 22:18

I thought of Sophie Hook too.

What is the plan if they get scared and want to come inside?

Will the door be open or key left with them?

namechange2pointoh · 16/08/2018 22:25

8/9 year olds sleeping outside?

Absolutely not.

user1494670108 · 16/08/2018 22:27

No way. I remember Sophie Hook too.

CherryCherryCherry · 16/08/2018 22:30

What if one of them needs the toilet or is unwell or is scared? It's unsupervised care really. Parents should sleep on another tent in the garden imo. The cubs sleep in tents and leaders in another not in the same tent.

Rebecca36 · 16/08/2018 22:40

If their back garden is secure, ie high fences or walls, it should be alright. The parents will leave the light on and door unlocked (they'll probably come down and check occasionally too).

Original poster
Mintychoc1 · 16/08/2018 22:50

I haven’t asked birthday mum because I’m worried it’ll sound like I’m criticising her parenting. I don’t want to seem rude. I’m aware that I’m quite a precious parent myself, so I find it hard to judge these things.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 16/08/2018 22:54

I suppose it depends on the area. I'd be fine with this where I live.

MazDazzle · 16/08/2018 22:54

She’s only 9. You have every right to ask what the arrangements are.

Sadly, I thought of Sophie Hook too. However, I remember someone once rationalised it to me by asking how many people I know who’d been killed in a car accident, yet I let my kids get in a car.

Still, I’d be very wary.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 16/08/2018 22:56

Unless the dm has posted on the weekly perv site that her garden is full of unsupervised dc I am sure they will be fine .