Best work life balance with little children?

[Blackmagic01]

Dp in a reasonably good job, as am I but since having ds I have been part time.

When I go back from my second mat leave, I have the option to go back full time or remain part time.

We wouldn’t see much of the extra cash as it would go on childcare. But Sometimes I think I miss out a lot being part time, not eligible for promotion etc. I have seen (usually men) who have worked in the area for half the length of time I have get promotion after promotion), while I am stuck because of my part time hours and working pattern. I would probably always have the opportunity to switch to full time if we desperately needed the extra money (say dp lost his job), so I don’t need to go full time ‘just in case’ if you see what I mean.

I’m just wondering what others thoughts are and what works for them and their family.
I certainly would be upset at the thought of missing my dc for so many hours per week.
But I also see the point that women who remain full time don’t have their career impacted in such a big way as those who reduce hours or take years out altogether. It’s a difficult decision.

Please no huge debate between working mum/stay at home mum and who is right. I don’t think anyone is right, it’s just different perspectives and everyone’s role is valuable.

@salty55

They’re fine, but your unwanted advice is really helpful Thankyou

4 days a week here in a management role with two DC under three. I’m arguably doing a full time role for part time money as I work into the evenings and weekends when the DC asleep but I’ve accepted that’s part & parcel of my role and I want to stay in game. That extra day per week feels very special to have with them and I try to make sure it’s quality time, then at the weekend DH joins the mix & it’s family time. He does more than me during the week though as his hours are more flexible and he works closer to home.

Works for us.

I’ve been promoted twice while working 3 days a week and have been promoted faster than male colleagues. I work in a company where it is clear to see your results though. It’s not fair to not be eligibile for promotion. Are all companies in your industry like this?

I wanted to compress to three days a week, I really think that's the best balance! That said, it was declined, so I'll be full time as of mid September.

My plan is to save like mad, and then hopefully find a new role that'll let me do three days a week, even if it means a huge pay cut.

I’ve worked both full time and 4 days a week mainly since having DCs, it works fine, hasn’t affected my career, I’ve been headhunted for new jobs still 4 days. I then get a day off to do some bit for me, see more of the kids and fit in some house and life admin. My husband has slightly flexible work being self employed but works full time.

What needs to be addressed is why individuals can not be prolonged/seen as valuable employees if they are part time. You should still be able to promote even though part time.

I just took the jump and started a new job 6 months into mat leave with my second child and went from part time to full time.

I regret this hugely, I never see my children, I'm paying to have them looked after by someone else and never see the benefit financially and every day is a real struggle.

I would honestly stay part time, IMO it's too hard to have any balance because you're so exhausted that you don't feel present even when you are there with your children.

I know some people manage it perfectly but to me they are just amazing, I have let everything slide at home, we're always ill as we're so run down, the kids being ill means I've had to leave work a lot which is really difficult when you're in a new job. My DH wouldn't be able to help as he works miles away from the pre school and earns double what I earn so we can't afford the loss of earnings.

I just hate having to be the one that can't have it all.

Hi thanks for responses.
So middle management positions upwards are always full time posts so it is not possible to get these at reduced hours if you want to remain part time.
No one ever has. It is just an accepted unwritten rule that of you reduce your hours you won’t progress beyond where you are.
I did know one manager a few years back who went to four days, but she already had that position and was able to negotiate dropping a day.

It’sclem that sounds hard Couldn’t you go back and drop some hours again?

I felt trapped in my part time job as I believed the same - that I wouldn't be able to stay at the same level and get a new job as all those jobs were advertised as full time.

My DH works in recruitment and I took his advice. Apply for full time jobs and make them want you THEN just ask the question; would they consider part time or flexible hours? They can only say no and then the decision is yours.

I got my current job this way and they accepted my 9-2:30 hour request! Importantly I do not believe I would have had the courage to been able to make this request if I had been returning to work after being a sahm.

I went back FT after dc1, and just felt I was doing nothing justice - not being a Mum, not work, and certainly not 'being me' or our relationship as a family.
After dc2 I went to 3 days. Have stayed with that ever since. (dc2 now at University). I love it. It gives me the right balnace, and I've changed job twice in that time - one being a sideways move, once being a big promotions, and i've also had an internal promotion.
Frankly, even without the promotions it has been 100% the right decision for me, It was killing me trying to work my 60 odd hours a week, and still feeling I wasn't getting everything done, whilst also feeling I was never there for dc1. Since going PT, I am much more confident about saying to managers that I am only paid for 3/5 of the week, so which out of Task A or B do they want me to prioritise, etc. - when I was FT I used to think I "should" manage everything they threw at me.

I don’t agree that middle management up are always full time. I’m senior management working 4 days. I’ve asked three times in roles for part time hours when they are advertised as full time. Every time it’s not been a problem. Not wanting to sound arrogant but I know I can do a job on reduced hours and have convinced them of this.

Nonsense OP! I'm a senior PM. It's about trust, sponsorship and iron clad belief in your abilities and that of your team. I had escalation procedures in place should I be required on that 1 day out the office. I was called a handful of times. My team were empowered, hired because of their own talents and experience and provided with clear responsibilities and success criteria to understand what was required of them without me physically present.

I'm 2 weeks into a new role and we have already agreed to reduce down to 4 days from October. It can happen please don't write it off.