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Original poster

Urgggh - missed a party. How do I sort this

19 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 16/08/2018 10:53

I have 3 DCs aged 5 and under so lots of life admin. I'm normally very organised but have seriously dropped thw ball. Woke up last night in a cold sweat realising that I forgot to put a party invite for my 4 year old in the calander

For background: we are having a huge house rennovation done which has been going on for nearly a year. We went on holiday at the end of term for 2 weeks and I got the invite just before we went. I am pretyy sure it went into a box when we packed the kitchen up before it was ripped out and it just slipped my mind. The night we packed, the electric on the ground floor had been accidently cut off so we were packing by torchlight and DH put the calendar (which the joiner had taken off the wall earlier the day) and (presumably) the invite which I had put on top of it into a box.

I have messaged the mum to apologise profusely and to offer to take her and her DD out to make this up. I know she read the message a few hours ago but no response so she is clearly very annoyed or I would have expected she might have messaged back to say it is OK.

How can I sort this? My DD and hers are good friends and just about to go into reception. I really don't want this to be an issue. I feel very bad about it but we are living in very, very difficult conditions and have been for nearly a year now. This just feels like the tin lid as my resilience is about zero and I keep bursting into tears anyway!

OP posts:
Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 16/08/2018 10:53

Ps - we missed the party which I am 99% sure was last weekend

OP posts:
oldbirdy · 16/08/2018 10:55

I've done this several times. I just apologized, provided a present and card, offered a play date, and moved on. These things happen.

Orlandointhewilderness · 16/08/2018 10:56

OP i have missed a party before now, as i'm sure a huge amount of people have. Not much you can do now - apologise and move on! it isn't the end of the world and sometimes, try though we do to see everything, things are missed. you aren't superwoman!

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Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 16/08/2018 10:57

We will obvs get a pressie. I think I will just need to hand it over at school if no response by then. I just feel rubbish

OP posts:
IvyandStan · 16/08/2018 11:01

I did this very recently! Party was last sat and I realised tues. had a lot on my mind and just completely forgot. Messaged the mum and explained/apologised and offered to have child over for a play. She didn't message back until the next day and I was so worried she was upset with me (anxiety issues) but she was fine was just packing for her holiday. You can't do any more than apologise

ladybirdsaredotty · 16/08/2018 11:01

OP I think you're giving yourself a ridiculously hard time about this. I have 3 DC aged 6 and under and something has to give sometimes. It's a young child's party, just apologise and move on!

ShirleyPhallus · 16/08/2018 11:03

Bit of an overreaction here!

You missed a party and have apologised. That’s all you can do. Move on.

If party mum remains bitter about someone who didn’t come to her four year old’s party then she really needs to get a life. Her issue, not yours.

ladybirdsaredotty · 16/08/2018 11:03

(I doubt that the mum is actually annoyed, just busy, but if she's annoyed then that is her issue really, it's honestly not the end of the world and these things happen)

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 16/08/2018 11:11

You are all right. I have given myself s metaphorical slap in the face. I just don't like bad feeling. But I accept that she may just be busy etc. I am at the end of my rope with the building work (despite the fact we have a v good builder) so I think that is the bigger issue

OP posts:
TheCrowFromBelow · 16/08/2018 11:13

You’ve missed one party, trust me, it isn’t seriously dropping the ball. I wouldn’t worry too much, you have texted to apologise.
It’s a really small thing to be waking up at night over. You’ve made a lovely gesture offering to take them out.
Hope your house gets sorted soon.

TellMeItsNotTrue · 16/08/2018 11:41

If I was party mum I would be annoyed if it was pay per head (as I could have invited someone else or paid less) and not that bothered if it was a whole class in a hall type party

BUT once I received your message I would totally forget about it and probably be glad it wasn't me who had done it! and understand that these things happen. Thats just if you apologised, if you offered to have my DC over to make up for it then I would see it as a bonus! (And if you offered to have all 3 DC, I might tell you to forget the party next year too Wink )

Try not to over think it says she who is totally over thinking things at the moment!! the holidays are hectic for all parents, she's probably looked at it and thought she will reply to that when she gets a minute, and then either not got a minute or totally forgotten. Plus you don't know, she might be on holiday or anything

Jinglebells99 · 16/08/2018 11:43

It really doesn’t matter. You are over reacting. I would think she hasn’t replied yet as it isn’t a priority.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 16/08/2018 11:47

Don't worry about it.

spiderlight · 16/08/2018 12:26

It'll be fine, honestly. We've had several no-shows at parties over the years and I've never given it more than a brief 'That's a shame - hope he's not poorly' thought. You have a huge amount going on, you've apologised - now let yourself off the hook and don't worry about it. Maybe stick a fiver in a card to hand over at the beginning of term.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 16/08/2018 12:31

It’s really not a big deal. If I was the other mum I would probably delay a reply while I think of a nice way of saying that I don’t want to be taken out to make up for the mistake.

fruitbrewhaha · 16/08/2018 12:31

I think the reason she hasn't replied is because she doesn't really care.

I doubt it really made a difference that your DD was missing, the mother would have called at the time to see where you were if she had wanted to.

Summer parties are always tricky as people are out of the loop.

You don't need to worry.

fruitbrewhaha · 16/08/2018 12:33

We are in the middle of building work, I'm supposed to be packing up the house...….…...it's shit isn't it.

You'll get there in the end.

IHeartKingThistle · 16/08/2018 12:39

To be honest, if she's got an August kid she needs to get wise. You have to presume people are going to forget if you're having a party in the holidays.

DS has a birthday in August. Before planning the party I message the mums of his best friends to check they're not away that day. Then the invites go out before the end of term with my number on them. Then the day before I send a quick message round to remind (not in an annoying way, usually something breezy!). This year 3 mums had lost the invites or forgotten and were really grateful for the heads up. If I hadn't have sent the text, we'd have been 3 short. But I probably wouldn't have been that pissed off anyway, it's par for the course in the holidays!

Don't worry OP, we've all done it.

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 16/08/2018 13:01

I'd be delighted if we didn'y have to go out - but thought I should offer Grin

Good point that we never received a text or message asking if we could make it.

I shall hand a present over at school and not think about it again

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