DD staying over at BF regularly, how much £ to give BF Mum

[dizzycatdance2]

Hi
My dd (17) stays over at her BF regularly. I think it's only fair if I give BFM something towards DD being there.

When staying bf and dd buy the majority of their own food eg 80% . what would be a "fair" amount per day to cover some food, electric ,washing powder, loo roll etc
DD has her own toiletries.

Thanks

None, she’s nearly an adult. If the other parent doesn’t like it then they can speak to their adult children about it.

We have had a "family" talk but BFM wouldn't suggest a £ , I don't want to offend suggesting to low £,

instead of giving the BFM money why don't you do a monthly shop of around £80 for food, supplies etc,That you could get delivered to her house as a way of saying thank you and put a bunch of flowers on every order .

I don't think you need to give any money if it hasnt been asked for. Shes staying there because shes been invited and is welcome there, her and her bf are already making a contribution to their food.
My eldests boyfriend stays with us 2 nights a week and I defintately wouldnt want any money from him or his mum, realistically he doesnt cost very much anyway and anything he does cost is more than made up just by what he does for dd and little chores he does around the house.
Does her bf ever stay with you?

Does she want a contribution? My kids had bf/gf stay and it never crossed my mind to ask for money from their families.

I wouldnt. If you do it looks like youre wanting her to move in there. Gives the mother less power

BFM is on a very low wage so money is tight.
BF does come to me but its much less often.
BFM doesn't do "big shops" ,buysin food each day.

DD and BF keep bulk food themselves to keep their costs down.

Maybe vouchers for the local supermarket ??

none Old enough to be sleeping with bf, old enough to get a job and pay her own way.

She might get offended? Or embarrassed?
Maybe give dd some money to put towards food and encourage her and bf to cook portions for bfm etc

Could you send a gift, flowers, hamper, voucher for bfm to treat herself in someway she wouldn't usually do? Token of appreciation?

Alt what about if you go away you take DD and bf with you?

Egg I used to drop friend DC off after school, it was out of my way, didn't rcv petrol money but end of term usually rcvd a gift to say thanks, flowers or something which was appreciated

This is a very weird thread/"problem" to have. None, is the answer.

She is staying over at his.. doing... ahem... you know?

The question is, how much should they be paying you for her services?

(What have the summer holidays turned me into?!?)

If she’s old enough to be shagging and staying over, she’s old enough to pay her own say there. How weird is this thread?

I'd send some money with DD and get the BF to give it to his mum.

Doesn't have to be a huge amount (£20 every few weeks?) and she doesn't have to know it comes from you as such? But the BF needs to insist she takes it to cover extra overheads.

I don't get why people think this is a weird thread???? The OP just wants to show appreciation to someone who has her child stay over a few times a week?

"If she's old enough to be shagging ,she's old enough to pay her own way "

Uuummm , don't really see the connection unless she's charging her BF ????

Giving them cash might be a bit weird. I used to stay over with BF at that age and wouldn’t have given money towards the house. We usually sorted out our own food and stayed out the way of parents. But I did used to give my BF’s mum a bottle of wine/flowers if she’d cooked a roast or it was a special occasion.