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Original poster

Any single mums struggling with relentless talking

50 replies

Melonsandberriew · 15/08/2018 12:50

Single mum of 7 and 5 year old.

Two happy enthusiastic beautifully behaved children. They are a joy. Sleep well, down at 7pm, eat well, lovely manners.

BUT I seriously and profoundly struggle with the incessant f$*%ing (sorry) talking. At me.

“Mummy, look at this, Mummy what’s this, Mummy how do you do this, Mummy, what do you think of this, Mummy look at me, Mummy look at that. Mummy Mummy Mummy”.

Honestly it drives me potty. I find myself nodding and hardly listening and just going “mmm, mmm, mmm”

I feel guilty though. I just can not engage with them to the extent that they want me to, which is very very intensely. It actually gets me quite down. I have to actually beg them sometimes to stop talking to me, which lasts for all of five seconds.

Does anyone feel the same?

OP posts:
Original poster
Melonsandberriew · 15/08/2018 13:47

Oh dear, just me then?!

OP posts:
Scotinoz · 15/08/2018 13:47

I have a 3 and 4 year old, but not a single mum, but find the incessant talking unbelievably exhausting.

They are currently glued to CBeebies simply so I can experience quiet for the first time since half 5 this morning. I also implement 'being quiet competitions' sometimes.

I think it's normal, is constant noise not a form of torture after all?! And the fact you make the right noises/feel guilty/worry about not engaging with them enough makes you a great mum.

I always admire single parents, it's a bloody hard job as a twosome, so doing it all is a massive achievement!

CruCru · 15/08/2018 14:47

I’m not a single mum but yes, the endless talking does get to me. A fiend said once that she never realised how introverted she was until she had children - I see her point.

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BitchQueen90 · 15/08/2018 14:50

Yep. Single mum of a 5yo DS. I was such a quiet and introverted child, DS is the exact opposite and will not stop talking, even when I'm cooking dinner and he's watching TV or something he's still talking to himself!

I love him to pieces but arghhh the incessant questions! Grin

queencrunch · 15/08/2018 14:56

Not a single mum...incessant non stop mum mum mum mum mum mum.....im waiting for gin o'clock.

minipie · 15/08/2018 15:09

Also not a single mum but also struggling with the talking... very very talkative 5 and 3 year old. 5 year old makes noise of some kind constantly, even if she's not talking she's singing made up songs or tapping her feet on something, it's enough to drive anyone crazy!

MeMyselfand · 15/08/2018 15:11

Have you tried the 'Let's see who can be quiet the longest' game? And of course you've got to tell them you'll time them

PragmaticWench · 15/08/2018 15:12

Oh god it just never stops!! DD is 5 and DS 3 and I swear she's training him to be as relentless as she is. If it's not talking then it's singing, tapping, clapping or making weird repetitive noises.

I love them but I'm slowly going crackers.

theveryhighlife · 15/08/2018 15:13

Single parent here. I completely understand!

Melstarrynight · 15/08/2018 15:21

Not a single parent but OMG the constant monologue of being talked at by my 5 and 7 year olds! You have my sympathy op.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 15/08/2018 15:34

I feel your pain, single Mum to an 8 year old and a 5 year old who both never stop talking. "One at a time" is my constant refrain.

LemonOnAPear · 15/08/2018 15:53

Yep, single mum to 3DC, one ADHD, one ASD and one lively boy! They don’t see their dad either so it’s literally 24/7. Some days I want to run away and hide. In fact I am right now in my bedroom Grin

MyNameIsFartacus · 15/08/2018 16:01

Same here, not a single parent but my 8 year old, oh my god, she never stops talking. I told her my name is no longer mum, it's Mrs. Fartacus just to stop the constant Mum Mum Mumming..... And when I zone out she gets annoyed with me so I have to force this stupid interested expression onto my face so that i can watch/listen to whatever it is she is going on about, honestly I find it utterly exhausting! Getting slightly better as she gets older as the questions and the things that she blathers on about are a bit more interesting.....

ems137 · 15/08/2018 16:10

I'm not a single parent now but have been. I'm finding my current situation much more difficult than when I was a single parent tbh 😢

I've got 4 kids, 12, 10, 3 and 1. I am finding the constant talking (wittering on I call it in my head!) so bloody difficult.

12 y/o - mum I just won this game and I did this and he did that and I've built this and now I've got this weapon/outfit

10 y/o - mum what are we doing today, can we go here (very expensive place), can we bake, can we do this, ooo I love that advert on the telly

3 y/o - mum I need a wee, mum I need a drink, mum me hungry, mum shall we read, mum come play picnics

1 y/o - incessant whinge and crying every time anyone has anything he likes the look of

Roll on bedtime! I wish I could say 5.30 when husband walks in but that just brings additional shite for me instead

Gingerivy · 15/08/2018 16:12

I have 3 children, 2 have autism, and talk constantly. I do reach a point of "oh heavens, please, no more words!!!"

RandomMess · 15/08/2018 16:13

We are family of 6 youngest is nearly teen...

It is STILL driving us insane, eldest has more or less moved out but did improve over the last few years. Middle two have never been in the same league...

YANBU it is exhausting and I can't send mine to bed at 7pm anymore Wine

RandomMess · 15/08/2018 16:14

Long car journeys... we asked for 20 minutes peace and only got 5 Sad

movinggoalposts · 15/08/2018 16:15

Yes. One of them. It’s frequently too much and I have to hide!

InDubiousBattle · 15/08/2018 16:17

I'm not a single mum but my 4.5 year old never stops talking. Some of my friends say 'God, don't you wish you knew what they are thinking', erm no, I know exactly what he's thinking all of the time. He tells me. It's like living with a pissed Jack Kerouac. On a chatty day. It does get very wearing. Especially since he just doesn't accept "mm. Okay dear" type answers. He is a lovely, loverly boy but he could talk the hind legs off a donkey.
I also have tinnitus which seems to make it more difficult to cope some days.

CantankerousCamel · 15/08/2018 16:22

I tell mine (6 and 8) that I need ‘adult quiet time’ on the school run or sometimes in the morning. They’ve all learned to just allow me to have a coffee in peace.

To be honest I think it’s a good learning experience, we've All met adults who incessantly talk, I use these days to teach them to be aware of people’s moods and to ask questions at appropriate times. I also make an effort to engage them in conversation so they feel heard. It works x

HarshingMyMellow · 15/08/2018 16:23

I'm with you.

It's nonstop, I'm going crazy! My DD has also got the nagging art down to a tee. If I haven't answered her question/request within 1 second, she'll repeat it over and over and over with no breaks until I give in.

I love her but SHHHHHHHHH.

Ohyesiam · 15/08/2018 16:23

I really feel for you op. I remember saying that my dd wanted more of me than existed of me. It was as if she wanted to be inside my experience with me, intense did not cover it.
Her pre school actually wanted her hearing checked because she always said pardon just so she could get the answer to every question twice! Never wanted toys , just one to one attention.

I decided to grit my teeth and give her really good attention for say 10 minutes, not even drinking a cup of tea, just playing, letting her lead, giving her what she wanted. After that I felt I could say “ I need to get on with this/ make this phone call “ etc. It helped my guilt, and gave it a bit of rhythm. I did it on and off during the day.
I also would ban questions every now and then, say at bedtime, or when I was dishing up a meal. “ no more question now till I say so”,
& I can’t tell you how much I hated the word why....

But that was a decade ago now and upside is she is SO engaged with the world, adventurous, athletic, every weekend she is sailing, climbing, kayaking, on camp.
I think the two go together, she put a lot into her life and she gets a lot out.
I know that seems like a long way off, but I hope it gives you hope.

Babdoc · 15/08/2018 16:26

Teach them to read, then provide loads of interesting imaginative books. Once they get engrossed in a story they’re peaceful for hours! Also get lots of board games and teach them to play with each other.
In good weather, send them out to the garden or local park/fields. They can chatter and shout all they like out there, you won’t hear them.
You can then get on with chores or drink gin or whatever...!
I was a single parent for 18 years and I would have gone mad if I thought I had to listen to them and entertain them every minute of every day. Kids need to learn limits, and how to amuse themselves, and how to take turns in a conversation, not just bombard you.

rightknockered · 15/08/2018 16:31

Oh fuck yes
Constant. Plus I have three with autism, one thinks everything he finds out on Google should interest me more than anything else I might be trying to concentrate on - like a single coherent thought. The other two are echolalic and repeat repeat repeat the same sentences over and over again. I feel extreme guilt because they're autistic and the youngest was completely nonverbal until last year. then I have two others, my dd who is an 8 year old very enthusiastic about everything chatterbox and will give me the saddest eyes if I don't pay attention.
By the end of the day I'm just exhausted.
Have resorted to screen time extra time Blush

chuckiecheese · 15/08/2018 16:31

My two, 13 & 10, chatter all the time about anything & everything. It is wonderful & exhausting in equal measure!

Makes up for DH who rarely says anything.

I love them dearly however I do say now that I need time for silence. It feels means but they do sap every last drop put of me some days Sad

I feel your pain Wink