I have a DD aged 3 and a DS aged 1. Whatever one child has, the other wants and tries to get. DD is obviously bigger and stronger so usually comes off the better but the whole situation is causing a lot of conflict and upset and I don't think I am dealing with it very well. But I'm not sure what I 'should' be doing?
If I see a snatch about to happen I will physically stop the snatcher and remind them that the rule is no snatching because it isn't kind (obviously DS doesn't really understand this but I say it anyway). I will move DS away and try to refocus him on another toy or ask DD to wait until DS puts the toy down, then she can have a turn.
Toys are largely treated as communal (apart from a few that are unsuitable for DS because of his age - these are stored separately) but if DD has something that she specifically doesn't want DS to look at, I remind her to keep it out of his reach when she's not using it. I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do?
When someone has snatched something before I could stop it I try to return it to the child who had it originally. Here is where I am really unsure of myself, because this always seems to escalate the conflict rather than resolve it (and often means I am snatching the toy myself :/). And sometimes I didn't see what happened so then I'm not sure who even had it originally. I have heard you should let your children resolve their own conflicts as far as possible but at their ages I am not sure they are capable (especially DS who is not talking at all yet beyond a few words).
Of course I have tried to talk to DD a lot about why it is unkind to snatch and alternative strategies she can use if she wants a toy he has (wait until he inevitably gets bored and moves on to something else, offer him something else in return and try to do a swap). But she just can't seem to help herself.
I think I'm doing it wrong, but what should I be doing instead? So should I be hovering over them at all times? Should I just let them snatch as long as they aren't actually hurting each other and trust that they will work this out between themselves?