Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

If you pull out of an arrangement to share a house at very short notice...

31 replies

BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 08:33

....do you have any responsibility to the other person?
My friend's dd was due to move in with her boyfriend on September 1st. He has changed his mind, but she still has to leave her flat.

OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 14/08/2018 08:34

Do they have a tenancy agreement signed for a new place?

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 08:35

Legally I think there’s only an obligation if they’ve signed a tenancy agreement.

Morally I’d say he has a responsibility to at least contribute to the rent until the end of the tenancy or she gets somewhere else.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 08:37

Sorry, pressed send too soon. She can't move back home because of work-his decision has apparantly come as a massive shock to her. He's doing the "it's not you, it's me-can we stay friends" routine. Do you think he should at least offer to store her stuff or something? Or something?

OP posts:
Original poster
BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 08:38

She was going to move into his flat. She has to leave hers-new tenants moving in.

OP posts:
TheHodgeoftheHedge · 14/08/2018 08:42

I can't see that legally there's anything here but it's an exceptionally shitty thing to do to her. She'd better start flat hunting :(

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 08:44

Actually I think she might have some comeback in that situation. She gave uo her flat on the back of his word, which can sometimes be used in court. A verbal contract.

So aye, at the least he should store her stuff and contribute towards a deposit for a new place.

What a prince eh?

Clairetree1 · 14/08/2018 08:48

no, he has no obligation legal obligation to her, this is the danger you face when your accommodation depends on a relationship,

relationship ends, you end up homeless.

She should have signed a tenancy agreement for her boyfriends flat before giving notice on her current flat.

basic common sense, whether you are male or female

One of the single most common causes of homelessness, relationship break down where one party has no legal right to remain in the home.

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 14/08/2018 09:09

A moral obligation maybe not a legal one I’m afraid. Hopefully she finds somewhere new soon.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 09:09

“She should have signed a tenancy agreement for her boyfriends flat before giving notice on her current flat.”

Yep. Her lease was coming to an end anyway- and he said not to look for anywhere else- just to move in with him. She would have had 3 months to find somewhere else. Struggling not to be furious with both her and her mum for letting this happen. (I know she’s an adult and it’s not her mum’s fault- but honestly)

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 09:11

So why are you furious with her mum?

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 14/08/2018 09:13

I’ve been there. Well we were buying a flat but still- nowhere to live with 2 days notice.

It’s a very hard lesson to learn!

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 09:13

I think that he is the only one at fault tbh. Aye she could and possibly should have had a back up plan, but does anyone foresee such shitty behaviour?

serbska · 14/08/2018 09:18

Of course there is no legal obligation!

She just needs to find somewhere else ASAP. Annoying and upsetting, but live and learn.

viques · 14/08/2018 09:20

In the long run he has done her a favour. It would have been a lot harder if she had moved in and then had to move out again, she has saved herself the stress of rows before the breakup and she no longer needs to waste any emotional energy on someone who does not deserve it .

Yes finding somewhere else at short notice will be a pain, it might be best to find somewhere temporary first and then take a bit more time to find a more permanent space.

BlackandGold · 14/08/2018 09:25

Sounds as though he's no longer her boyfriend then.
But that's very short notice seeing as she was going to move in with him. Did I miss something about her mother? Why are you annoyed with her?

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 09:30

I am completely irrationally annoyed with her mum because she knew this was happening and didn’t advise her dd to protect herself. I know I am being irrational, don’t worry!

OP posts:
Original poster
BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 09:31

But she is very young, and new to this adulting thing.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 09:33

Why are you getting so annoyed about this? I would understand if it was your daughter.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 09:57

Nicknacky-do you not have friends? Young people you care about and have k own since they were babies who aren't your own children?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 10:00

Yes of course I have friends, but I wouldn’t be so invested in their adult children’s lIving relationships that I would be irrationally angry with my friend.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 14/08/2018 10:39

Well done you!

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 10:41

Strange response....it’s a break up between adults. It sucks but it probably won’t be her only breakup.

I would save my upset for my own offspring.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 14/08/2018 10:46

Loads of posters get upset for OP's that they have never met. Why is it odd to get upset for a person you know and care about?

He has really screwed her over. I'm not sure she can do anything apart from tell him to fuck right off with his 'can we still be friends' bollocks and learn not to depend on the word of a boyfriend in future.

EleanorRigbey · 14/08/2018 10:46

Life experience! She won't make a mistake the next time. Sounds like she has had a luckily escape from him.

Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 10:47

IWanna And it’s very odd to get upset about strangers on the internet!

The op isn’t just upset, she’s angry at the womans mum! That’s whats baffling me.