I’m being a diva - someone come and give me a stern talking to please!!

[Clutterfreeintraining]

It’s ds’ 16th birthday today and I feel like it’s been a rubbish day for him.
It’s just me and him. I took him out for a treat yesterday, stayed over and came home this morning.
I’ve just decorated his cake for later this evening (my mum and sisters are coming for tea) and it looks like shite!!
His dad has sent him a pathetically poor birthday message on fb and my dad, who hasn’t spoken to me for over a year, couldn’t even be bothered to call to wish him happy birthday
Ds is currently having a sleep because he’s knackered after his early wake up this morning. It all just feels so flat and I wish I could have made his birthday more exciting.
I’m probably just projecting my own issues which is why I need a shake to snap me out of it!!!

how come he isn't doing anything with his friends?

Having said that, I think it sounds like you've put lots of effort in - a treat, a night away, dinner and cake with family? his dad and your dad aren't something you can control so try to let that go and focus on the positives of time spent together with him and you and with your mum and sisters.

Happy birthday to him!

One of my DC's had a throughly miserable sixteenth birthday due to an horrendous set of circumstances completely beyond my control. It passed and there were no hard feelings! In fact, DC oesn't remember it as being quite as bad as it actually was!
You do the best you can in the circumstances, Op. What they remember is that you'd cared enough about to try to do your best.

Bling - a lot of his friends are away.
I think the weight of responsibilty of being the only one to put the effort in for him overwhelms me sometimes.
Faded - glad your dc doesn’t remember just how bad it was. I think that’s the point of starting the thread - he’s not bothered but I keep bursting into tears over my shit attempt at icing a cake! It totally doesn’t matter and I know when my family arrive they’ll tell me how wonderful it looks and I know it doesn’t and I’m making it all about me.
I’m trying hard to get a grip!!

You will be fine! He will be happy! Do not worry!!
He’s 16 anything without family is up to him to organise.
Anything with family is going to be lovely and fun!!
Stop stressing

Clutter free

I totally understand what you meant about the responsibility for the birthday falling to you alone and the pressure that results.

I find my children's birthdays something I look forward to getting past each year.

Take five minutes out for / and Google 'cake fails', Op.
Guaranteed that you with and feel so much better about your culinary efforts.

The cake doesn't matter its the effort - stay chipper and make it a fun day. Could you arrange to take him somewhere fun as an extra treat e.g. Alton Towers?

Thanks for the replies and kind words
Just been out to play with one of his new toys together while we wait for the others to arrive - that has helped.
Spanishwife - I’ve already blown the budget (compared to what I normally spend), trying to compensate for the awful year we’ve both had.
It’s not often I feel down about it just being me and him but very occasionally it hits me and I feel like he misses out on not having a bigger family. And I know he gains plenty from our situation but I forget that when I’m in this mood.
Anyway, another virtual slap across the chops and I’m going to google cake-fails, as suggested

Well, Clutter did the cake fail search restore your self belief?

Turn the cake fail into a family joke, embarrassed him by singing etc, I am sure he will have a great time. Love and laughter that's the way to go

You sound like a truly wonderful mother and I'm sure your son loves you very much. He will look back and remember fondly all the love, effort and kindness he always received from you. You reap what you sow; I can guess which parent he will remain close to and will always love and respect xxx

Faded - yes, turns out I’m not the world’s worst cake decorator!!

Pebbles - thank you Cake eaten and more importantly, ds enjoyed his evening.

Moody - that’s such a kind post. Thank you.

That sounds tough for you, but I bet he's reasonably happy. Holiday birthdays are rubbish though. Is there anyone he can hang out with or can you maybe arrange something for once the school starts back - like a movie and pizza night at home?

Oh yes, he seems perfectly happy - it’s me being silly
Yes, I think he’ll organise something once all his friends are back off holiday.

Emotions aren't rational. Be kind to yourself and hope you feel better today.

Thank you
Just forced myself out for an early morning swim which, despite my protests, helps me feel motivated

Oh god yes, August birthday. I had the same when I was growing up. Can you organise a film /gaming & pizza party for him when school starts again?

My poor DD is starting to say that no one will want to celebrate her 21st birthday next year as it will be in the middle of uni Finals.

The August birthday hasn’t ever been much of an issue. He’s either had his close friends round for a party or we’ve had a day out with my mum and sisters or sometimes both but, yes, I think he’s planning some form of gathering in the garden towards the end of the holidays.

Aw, that’s a shame for your dd - how does she feel about a delayed, post-exam celebration?

She says that it won't be her birthday then, which is fair enough.