Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Returning to work and 13 week old dd

3 replies

stripeytshirt77 · 13/08/2018 13:36

I’m due to go back to work in 2 weeks. Dd will be 13 weeks old.
I don’t want to go. It’s 2 days a week and child care is covered by family and dh.
The problem I have is I’m self employed. If I contact clients (I have work booked in for my return) and tell them I’m taking the full 9 months, I risk losing everything I’ve spent the last 10 years building.
If I take the 9 months I wouldn’t be able to return to my line of work. I would have to seek alternative employment in the new year.
Anyone felt forced into a short maternity leave and what did you do?

OP posts:
Figlessfig · 13/08/2018 14:11

I went back to work full time when my DD was 5 months old. My DH then took 4 weeks off work. Then my mum looked after her during the day.

It was hellish at first. I used to go into the toilets and cry sometimes. But we needed the money, and I had no option. If I hadn’t gone back, we wouldn’t have been able to pay the mortgage, and we all would’ve been homeless.

The job I went back to was extremely stressful too. I worked in local government and managed a department where our clients were in stressful situations themselves, and if we couldn’t give them what they wanted, some of them took it out on us. On occasion this escalated to physical violence.

It sounds like your situation is different. Your work is clearly not needed to pay for essentials (housing, heating, food). You get to choose whether to do it or not. Lucky you!

To me, 2 days a week is neither here nor there, tbh. And it sounds like it’s something you enjoy doing, since you’ve spent the last 10 years building up your business.

Maybe I’m not the best person to answer this question! I confess that, for me, it comes under “first world problems”.

But it’s serious to you, so a serious answer I shall give. I think you should go back. You might feel bad about letting customers down. If you stay at home you’ll probably be bored stiff within a few months, and have to start again with something new.

2 days a week isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. It’ll be tough at first, of course it will. You’re totally focused right now on your lovely baby (congratulations btw) and it’ll be a wrench.

But what about 5 years from now? Will you regret giving up your business? Will you wonder what might have been? I think you might, in the longer term.

If I were you I’d go back and see how it goes. If it’s too much, you can decide to stop anytime.

LadyB49 · 13/08/2018 14:17

Many many years ago you got 6 weeks then back to work so that's what I did. It's just how it was then. Your child will be fine. It's you who has to come to terms with it.

Bearing in mind that you have built up a business and it's only 2 days a week, go for it. You will be fine.

stripeytshirt77 · 13/08/2018 14:58

fig I’ve always thought about the future time- would I regret it when my children are older. I think I would. In fact I know I would.

I guess as the day approaches I’m feeling a bit cheated especially as my sister is now finishing work until next summer on decent pay.

Sometimes I feel ok about it, others I don’t.
It’s more on my mind because I bumped into 2 existing customers today and all they wanted to know how soon I can see them again.

It’s hard to finish at a decent hour and take holiday (I’m a pushover) but I’m going to start standing my ground and making self employment work for me. And hopefully I can use it to my advantage when I have school age children.

ladyb I definitely think it’s more the thought of going back. I will probably be fine after the first day.

Thanks both.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page