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My blood is still boiling....

12 replies

AaaaaaarghhhWhereAreMyKeys · 06/08/2018 09:24

At the swimming pool yesterday my 14 year old DD was spat on and called a 'Ho' by a 12/13 year old boy.

She was waiting in the communal shower area (where there's no CCTV). It was totally random. She'd had no interaction with the group of boys in the pool beforehand, although I noticed the boys jumping in too close to my DCs so they were perhaps already spoiling for trouble, my DCs just ignored them and carried on playing. While DD was waiting (for me) outside the showers, they got out and started running back and forwards past her, this is when it happened.

When I spoke to the lifeguards, one of them told me the same boys had been in the day before and spat at someone else.

I got dressed, went to the manager and insisted the boys were chucked out pronto. To say I kicked up a bit of a fuss would be putting it lightly.

The manager treated me as if I was the person causing the problem. Which meant I had to shout even louder until he actually understood the seriousness of the situation.

The boys then called DD a snitch, bitch and told her they were going to smash me in the face (Naaice...I'm 6 months pregnant BTW). At one point, I could feel everything start to tighten and had to do some serious deep breathing to calm myself down.

The pool isn't local to us (thank goodness). I've reported it to the police who were very understanding and took it surprisingly seriously considering their ages. They're going to pay a visit to the pool and try and have a chat with the boy (if the manager was doing his job properly and got his address).

I am livid. Why wasn't this boy dealt with the first tie this happened? Why were they allowed back in? Have I done enough?

OP posts:
AaaaaaarghhhWhereAreMyKeys · 06/08/2018 09:26

Why wasn't this boy dealt with the first tie this happened? = Why wasn't he dealt with the first time it happened?

OP posts:
SlightAggrandising · 06/08/2018 09:27

Really hard OP, you did well. Maybe your actions will help to stop the boy growing into something awful.

How's your DD?

No point telling you to calm down... I'm angry on your behalf.

Hercules12 · 06/08/2018 09:32

I have a 14 year old dd and I think you did really well. You've shown her that this behaviour from boys is unacceptable and should be challenged.
Sadly I think the staff probably thought you overreacted but 4th at doesn't matter as the lesson you taught your dd was more important.

AaaaaaarghhhWhereAreMyKeys · 06/08/2018 09:50

Yep there's nothing less pacifying than being told to calm down isn't there Slight?

DD was ok about it at first, she mentioned something about rape culture. The thing is, she didn't actually want to go in the first place but I insisted she went. At least they had a nice time before it happened.

Think she's pleased I had her back though.

Most pools seem to be switching to communal changing areas nowadays so I suppose these sorts of situations will only increase.

OP posts:
AaaaaaarghhhWhereAreMyKeys · 06/08/2018 10:13

It's not likely but I really hope the person who was spat at the day before reads this as that may have been caught on CCTV.

Obviously there were no cameras in the showers where DD was. I think it's time to invest in some waterproof rape alarms! I've not given mixed sex changing rooms much thought before but just done some googling...

nottstv.com/petition-calls-unisex-changing-rooms-notts-swimming-pool-woman-filmed-changing/

www.standard.co.uk/news/london/anger-over-plans-to-create-unisex-changing-rooms-at-chelsea-swimming-pool-a3372896.html

This has huge implications for the safety of women (especially teenage girls). In fact it actually limits their freedom as parents (including me) will stop them going to such pools without an adult for fear of assault.

OP posts:
orangeju1ce · 06/08/2018 11:45

You handled it brilliantly and set a great example for your DD. I am also livid on your behalf.

Skyejuly · 06/08/2018 11:47

Infuriated for You!

SlightAggrandising · 06/08/2018 22:26

Umm. Have you heard of ManFriday?

You should write to the pool to outline your concerns about men and girls sharing changing rooms.

Starlighter · 06/08/2018 22:32

Yuck, what utter scumbags.

You did the right thing. That behaviour is unacceptable and needs to be challenged.

It sounds like the staff didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation at the time but I’d imagine they do now after some thought and/or discussing it with their friends/family.

Hopefully the police will have a chat with them and make them think twice...

BakedBeans47 · 06/08/2018 22:55

Disgraceful. I have a 12 year old boy and could never imagine him behaving like that. You did the right thing. I can’t beleife he wasn’t kicked out of the pool either

SisterNotCisTerf · 06/08/2018 22:59

Why on earth did the swimming pool let them back in after they had been abusive the previous day?? Shock

AaaaaaarghhhWhereAreMyKeys · 07/08/2018 00:08

Thanks Slight, just googled ManFriday. I've heard a bit in the news (and on MN about Hampstead Swimming ponds etc but sadly not given it much thought until now.

Today we were out and about and I irrationally found all younger teenage boys made me feel uncomfortable - which is absolutely ridiculous given how many lovely lads there are out there. How sad.

DD seems ok, she's generally been a bit angry today but is calming down now.

Luckily I have plenty of time on my hands now so I'll write to the pool and head of leisure for the area. The pool obviously have serious management/communication issues, it would never have happened to my DD if they had dealt with the boys the first time.

All your reassurance that I didn't overreact has made me feel a bit better about how I flew off the handle yesterday. The area we're in is a very much 'don't make a fuss and sweep it under the carpet' kinda place, which is probably why the boy thought he'd get away with it. I think it's about time they toughen up a bit and get with the real world.

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