Possible child abuse next door

[bethy15]

Hello, I'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this, but I'm unsure what to do.

Next door have a lot of children, possibly six, but I'm not sure, there seems a lot come and go at times.

There's one girl, who is in the middle of their ages, she's 12. I'm not sure if she's OK mentally. She's very, very cruel, she's thrown scissors, Swiss army knives, a compass and many other things at my dog. She also has very strange behaviour with other things. But mostly it's extreme cruelty.
They have a trampoline and many times I've heard her standing on their heads or arms, refusing to get up, then she hisses at them that she'll hurt them more if they tell. Most of the times it's when I'm in the garden I'm hearing this, although the screams are so loud we hear them through the walls all the time, it can be quite distressing.

Every day, especially after school, the littlest girl is crying and screaming and in utter despair. Her family seem to pick on her. The middle girl, the cruel one does things to her. Yesterday I was in the garden when I heard the little girl begin to cry/sob and was in pain. She said the girl had kicked her in the mouth. The middle one then says all calmly that no, she was just walking and she was on the floor and that's where her foot was going. That seemed to be perfectly fine to the mother.

All the time though, the family seem to ostracise this little one, treat her meanly and frequently blame her for the other girls behaviour. Ironically, she's the sweetest of all of them. The middle girl seems somewhat sociopathic in her behaviour, I won't let the dog out in the garden if she's there.

They are a bit of a strange family. It's hard to put it down in writing, but they've not really got toys of any kind except their trampoline. They used to just stand at the fence and stare at us all of the time we was in the garden. They said things like 'we had a ball once' or 'we had a stuffed toy once' when talking to us about someone they knew with one.

I'm unsure what to do really. Do I call social services? Contact their school? Do I say I believe it's mostly targeted at the youngest one? I'm sure something is just not right over there. Can it be done anonymously?

Google the number for your local child safeguarding team and Let them know you want to raise a concern
You say you want to do it annonymously if needed.

They will listen and guide you through any questions.

Aww that poor little girl! If you feel something’s not quite right then best to let social services know so they can do checks xxx

please call social services. That poor child.

Report it to social services and keep reporting it. If it was me I wouldn't be able to keep myself from saying something to the older child and the mother/father.

You question why the 12 year old is acting like that too.
Definitely make that call OP.

Call social services. When she goes to school hopefully others will report as well and then maybe something will be done about the behaviour. So often these things can escalate.

If I report it, it will be anonymous?

I have said something in the past about it, especially the crying. Now they just try to shut her up if she's screaming. The mother seems out of it to be honest. I'm not sure if it's the language barrier, but whenever I've told her things, like how unacceptable it was that she threw scissors into the garden, or they kept putting food over the fence, she just says OK and that's it and it continues to happen.
To be honest, I'm not happy communicating with the older child. It worries me what she'll do to the dog, she is very spiteful and vindictive, as I said she holds their heads down with her feet, she's very violent.

To clear things up, she's already of school age.

I know something has to be done. That's why I was wondering if SS or talking to her school would be better as though there may be issues with all of them, the little one seems to be the target of an awful lot of it.

Yes you can report it anonymously if you wish. They won't take your details then so they can't any further questions though.
You can report through nspcc or directly to social services.
Try and make a note of exactly what you hear any if them say and any actions.
Please do phone though.

www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/

Oh please - you must know you have to report this? Why on earth are you hesitating? I'd contact the school and social services in a heartbeat if I'd witnessed what you have.

Yes definitely report it OP. Good on you for showing concern for you neighbour, if it still continues report it again.

Social services.

Please report it to SS. You can do it directly or through NSPCC. They are very good at passing on concerns. I am a SW and have worked with many families where, for some reason, one child Is scapegoated. It is a very horrible sort of abuse.

I wouldn't really interact with them, leave it to social services

Oh please - you must know you have to report this? Why on earth are you hesitating? I'd contact the school and social services in a heartbeat if I'd witnessed what you have.

I know I have to, that's why I made the thread. I suppose it's because I have had previous trouble with them, they are bound to know it's from me and obviously it may be awkward. However, I intend to report it, no matter what. Hearing yesterday and the fact the parents then knew she had kicked her in the mouth and nothing was done at all was awful.

They are really destructive children. Everything in the house breaks, chairs, I hear banging all the time. Right now, their trampoline is broken it falls over sideways, they are trying to get it to tip far over and then jump to the other side to get it back level.

There's also strange behaviour with the 12 year old and urinating on the green out the front in the middle of the day. It'a all very strange and unsettling.

Please report it to SS. You can do it directly or through NSPCC. They are very good at passing on concerns. I am a SW and have worked with many families where, for some reason, one child Is scapegoated. It is a very horrible sort of abuse.

I will do.

So it does happen then?I thought it was just a strange dynamic of this family in particular. I've never seen it on this level. It's even the elder sister (late teens) who seems to pick on the little one for everything.
The parents are almost a non factor, it seems like the eldest siblings are in charge, but they constantly pick on the little one.

they are bound to know it's from me and obviously it may be awkward

Couldn't it have been another neighbour reporting? Or the school raising concerns? Or a gp/health visitor? Would they definitely know it was you?

The parents are neglectful in not protecting the other children from sibling abuse. The 12 year old is displaying very worrying behaviour which may indicate that she has herself been abused.

Obviously, you must report and yes it can remain anonymous.

Google 'Multi Agency Safeguarding Team' and see if your area has one.

I've reported concerns on a few occasions. You may feel bad doing it, but better to feel bad than regret it later on. They will keep it anonymous.

Please report.

It sounds like the parents have problems controlling the girl with the worrying behaviour. It's possible they are scared of her and maybe help from social services is what they need above all.

OP, I will be among the MNers worried about this little girl on the basis of what you've said and waiting to hear that you've reported it.

Can you update us once you've done it? Glad that you're doing something - it's not always easy.

I agree you need to contact ss or if ur more comfortable doing so call the nspcc, you can remain anonymous although theyre unlikely to pass on ur name to the neighbour anyway, I’ve had to make a similar report myself and I found out the children were on ss radar so my concerns were justified and helped them build a bigger picture iyswim, I know it’s difficult because you don’t want to believe that abuse is happening, but I’d also be very concerned about the behaviour of the 12 year old in particular, you are absolutely doing the right thing by contacting the authorities, they can provide the family with the support they need. The neighbour might suspect you but like others have said it could easily have been reported by another neighbour or the school

Personally, I wouldn’t care if they knew it was me. The younger children need protection. You absolutely must report it.xx

Blueskypink, I would think they would believe it to come from me. There's been quite a lot of bad behaviour from the children and the parents that we don't even peak any more.
It's like the parents don't have any sense of decency/respect. The mother was hoovering every night at 2-3am and banging the skirting boards waking everyone up. It all was so much, including allowing noise like you've never heard from the trampoline that I don't speak to them any more.

They are also aware I am aware of the behaviours that I have described as being human with a sense of empathy, when I've heard some of it, I've let out gasps or just screamed for them to stop. So if I were to describe these things, I expect they'll know it's come from me alone.