He went through my phone and found a convo of me swapping pics

[Emz2019]

We have been together around 18 months and last night my boyfriend had a few drinks and flipped! He said he had been right through my phone and found a convo from 2 years ago (before I got with him but knew him) where me and a male friend had swapped intimate pictures. Iv told him it was a one off... it was before I was with him... I don’t see what the harm is. But he’s really upset about it and told me he sees it as cheating because we were friends back then, but our realationship didn’t start for another few months. It looks as though he’s planning to break up over this, he’s still asleep now but last night he was ready to walk out. We also have a 2 week old baby. He says he seen this convo a few weeks ago and has been holding it all inside for weeks, said it went right through my phone, all my messages all my Facebook messages all my WhatsApp, I don’t do anything exciting besides talk to Family which I’m sure he seen except the convo from 2 years ago. I don’t know what to do. Did I do wrong? I don’t know why I didn’t delete the chat but don’t know why he’s going right back through my phone !

You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. You weren’t with your BF at the time you swapped photos.

He, on the other hand, had invaded your privacy in the most appalling way AND is being utterly ridiculous about what he saw.

It sounds like he’s looking for an excuse to leave.

Don't accept it for a second. You have done nothing wrong. He snooped and paid the price. You had a life before him. It sounds like he is looking for an excuse to leave his responsibilities. Or does he have form for being jealous and controlling?

You did nothing wrong. He's trying to blame something to justify his breach of trust of going through your phone.

I'd actually dump him for that

Who the fuck does he think he is?!

He’s got a jealousy problem, you did nothing wrong.
It could be he’s having trouble adjusting to being a father. Not to excuse him, but men can sometimes be odd or go awol in the first few weeks.

So by that rule, any girl he was intimate with when he knew you was cheating too.

He is a weak bastard and looking for ways to get out of the relationship by making you the ‘guilty ‘ party. He is doing this because he knows that leaving you with a new baby is a bastard thing to do and he wants to deflect.

Get rid of him and enjoy your lovely baby.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You were single and swapping pics with another consenting adult, it doesn't matter if it was a one off or you were doing it daily.
His going through your phone is a breach of your privacy though.

He’s looking for an excuse to leave. He has no right to flip over something that happened before you were with him. What a nutter.

No you’ve not done anything wrong as you weren’t in this relationship at the time, and it’s your body if you wish to send pics that is up to you.

Why didn’t you delete them? Do people really keep 2 year old dick pics? I thought you look at them then delete, well I always have! Just as Dh would delete semi naked pics of me after looking. Not having a go OP just wondering

I had an ex that had a go at me over something that happened before I met him - literally just a kiss with someone I never saw again.

The relationship ended when he became physically violent.

This is a red flag moment. Consider it carefully.

He's looking for an excuse to end it. I understand it's not something he'd want to see...but you weren't together then.

How particularly cruel when you've just had a baby, OP. But you will be better with this man out of your life.

I would sit him down and ask him what's going on. And talk to him about his fears of becoming a father. And of your relationship changing. Reassure his that although you are doting on the baby right now, that you still love him. It's hard when there is a little blob that needs all your attention for them to still feel loved.

It sounds like he's suddenly looking for a reason to paint you as the guilty one.