My partner and I were together for 2 and a half years from 2013. When we got together, he had 3 children to his ex wife, and he told me he would happily have more children if he found the right woman. We split up because I wanted to get married and have children, and he want ready to yet remarried and turns out he didn't want to have a reversal done, and said he didn't want to do sperm donation because he didn't want to raise another mans child, even though his eldest and only daughter is not biologically his.
I fell pregnant with my ex and we split before finding out I was pregnant. When I was about 20 weeks pregnant i had a bad dream about my current partner, messaged him to see how he was doing and we met up for a drink.
From the moment we laid eyes on each other it was live at first sight all over again, all his mates said I was his great white buffalo. He is the love of my life.
I asked him again about what if I wanted more children while I was pregnant and he said he would, even with sperm donation.
He raises my son as his own and loves him just as much as his own children.
I didnt have a very easy pregnancy and the labour was far from ideal. I said I didnt want to to through all that again and was happy with just my son.
We've recently been talking about saving for a deposit for a house and he said we would only need a 3 bedroom house as his daughter is at the age now where we barely see her as she wants to go out with her mates.
And all I could think was but what if I do want more children, a 3 bedroom wouldn't be big enough.
I finally managed to get the courage to ask my partner if he meant that he would have more children or only said it to make me happy.
I got this response
I'm not sure. Didn't think you would want another or could handle it. U were bad enough with **. Do u really want to go through that again? I think 4 is enough for me tho baby. I know it's not what u want to hear tho
And i cant help but cry, it's not about doing it if its what I want, I want him to have wanted it aswell. Not do it just to keep me happy.
I dont know what to say to him. On one side it hadnt come to the point of more children yet so why am I even thinking about it, but on the other I feel heartbroken and restricted.
I dont know what to do, all I've done all evening is cry. Because deep down I do want more children, I've always wanted at least 2 of my own. And I want a baby that is mine AND his, not just one sided.