How to find out if she wants to know....

[jugglinthemall]

..... if her husband is a serial adulterer.
Some would... I think most would but some wouldn't... i don't want to tell her unless she is someone who would ultimately want to know... He is a charming but ultimately over selfish dick and if I could find out if she'd want to know then I would tell him that, so he couldn't continue to justify his dualistic position and find the guts to tell her.... He is someone who makes out that he's more concerned than he actually is... if he didn't want to tell her, and she wants to know, he gets to continue being a dick to everyone involved... my question is not regarding the complicated reasons that people have affairs it's about how to find out if she wants to know. I don't know her, only knew him... I'm ready for flaming misunderstanding but maybe someone here will have useful experience or perspective...

More importantly - what is your motivation for considering telling her? Is a friend or relative? Or are you the OW?

Why? More important.... have you ever had an affair?

People sometimes find themselves in relationships with folk they are no longer physically compatible with but for millions of practical reasons have to continue to live together as a family. Within this it's possible for people to find solace, respite, relief outside a marriage if they have continually tried to no avail within it... it can be done honestly within the couple but confifentiallyvto the outside world... the point is to be dishonest within the couple is more of a hurtful betrayal than doing what you feel you need to do but doing it honestly. My impression is that it's the betrayal and lying that hurts more than the physical mismatch...