Background: my parents split when I was 5, my brother 2. My father had weekend visitation and holidays and all went swimmingly until we were about 8 and 5. He turned to drink and going to him used to be miserable. My brother hated going, my father favourited me openly and belittled my brother. It messed emotionally with both of us. Brother eventually decided not to come anymore when he was about 7, I continued visiting until about 13 but by that point my father was manipulating me to tell him stuff about my Mum and step dad, threatening me and I was having to be getting on the train to go see him even though he drove. Then I start to go into my teens and realise he's a manipulative, mean alcoholic and he caused many issues in that side of the family to aunts and uncles who I deeply respect and care about. In short, I cut contact at 17 after years of counselling and I do not want a man like that in my life full stop - blood or not.
However, I'm now pregnant - and I'm stuck in a "should I tell him?" rut. On one hand - he doesn't deserve my respect, and I certainly don't want him thinking I'm opening a door to him. But on the other, it's his first grandchild, he'll find out from others anyway, and when he does there'll be an awkward "oh she didn't tell you?...." which I don't want to put any member of my family through, I don't want the nasty texts I'm bound to get from him as a result of it and I think it makes me look bad for not telling my own father.
Please help me reason this out