friends

[schooloftheair]

I'd like some opinions please.
I always end up with friends that take advantage of my good nature. I feel really upset now with this last lot. I have one really good friend who is much like me. She also gets taken advantage of.
The others just use me for attention when it suits them. When they need something or some company. They never give anything back.
I realise it must be my fault as nothing ever changes. What can I do to try to find other people that are not always using me for their needs but never giving anything back?
You will probably tell me to grow up or dump them all I suspect.
I find it extremely difficult to socialise and open up to people and when I do I feel vulnerable.... and then they use me. I feel extremely low and really down about how they treat me. I don't know what I am doing wrong (aside from being pathetic about it all).

If your issues are around boundaries and assertiveness, this may affect other areas of your life too, like at work. I'd suggest doing some thinking about why you let people treat you how they do, and get some books or read up on the Internet.

Best wishes, it's not easy but it will be worth it.

I feel for you. I always find it hard to assert myself with people I know and can sometimes feel like they take advantage because I don't work. I'm usually the first people ask to look after their kids or go somewhere and do something because they know I have time but it gets on my nerves and I feel used. I have started to say no but this usually means a white lie as to why I can't do it and that makes me feel bad but I feel like I have no choice sometimes. The result of this is that it makes me quite defensive when making new acquaintances. I've had a friend request sitting on my FB but I won't accept it because this lady has already asked me to pick up and take her daughter somewhere a few times and I don't want her having access to bother me online too. I do have two friends who I reciprocate favours with and that's fine but some people just take advantage. I'm not sure I can give you a coping strategy but if you identify a person as a taker try to make yourself a little more elusive.