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Toxic people

4 replies

JuJuMacD0808 · 05/07/2018 15:11

Would be grateful for some advice from anyone experiencing something similar..

Bit of background; I was bullied throughout my schools days, high school etc and as a result I'm a massive people pleaser, friends have been known to take advantage of my ways... I received counselling 10 years ago & managed to cut some of these people from my life but I find this hard especially as some I've known some since college & are constantly in touch regarding meet ups etc... These college girls (6 in total) are all toxic in their own way i.e never agree to meeting up unless on their terms, not one of them came to my sons Christening recently, that's fair enough but in return one of them in particular expects me to go above and beyond for her, picking her up en route to places without offering petrol with zero thanks (& a lot of the time it's out of my way) Other things too but I could be here all day. I've slowly tried to withdraw from them & have started putting boundaries in place, making myself less available etc but I'm beginning to find them a hindrance with constant WhatsApp's back & forth, my children take up so much of my time already. I know people are not perfect & I'm not expecting that in a friendship, I just feel we have grown apart & they take me for granted. I do have other friendships which are reciprocal, respectful & mutual in give & take, but would love some advice on how to withdraw from these negative friendships. Thanks x

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 09/07/2018 07:06

How to withdraw? Be busy a lot, don't join in group chats on whatsapp, say not available to join group events, say not convenient to give lifts to the one who thinks you're a free taxi because you're doing something else somewhere else beforehand , etc. keep explanations to a minimum and just fade! With any luck they're such a self centred bunch that they won't care!

Moononthehill28 · 09/07/2018 07:10

As above . Remove yourself from the group WhatsApp too. They sound horrendous. You’re a grown up, you don’t need this in your life.

JuJuMacD0808 · 09/07/2018 09:01

Thanks guys, good advice. I hate falling out with people I've known a while, but you're right if they don't benefit me, why am I even bothering

OP posts:
Pippylou · 09/07/2018 09:03

No need to fall out. If they are using you, once you're not available, they will use someone else.

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