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Marriage over

2 replies

Dad2sixxxx · 01/07/2018 23:37

Hi all not really sure if this is the right place to post this or even where to begin with it. Oh well here goes anyway I’m in a bit of a bad place with my marriage I’m a married 36 year old man with 6 children to my wife of 15 years & partner of 20 yes you read that right we got together at the age of 15 & 16 she’s never really been the loving or affectionate type more of a couldn’t care less type around 12 years ago she started to drink 6+ cans every night which over the years went up to 15+ a night for several years the abuse from her as been nothing other than soul destroying for all involved 3 years ago I’d had enough of how she speaks to me along with the constant put downs she always try’s to get with other men & when I find out she just says people are lying but that’s another story so id had it & told her that it was time to cut bk on the drink as our marriage & family was more than falling apart I by the way do not drink at all what so ever so I stopped getting her as much alcohol as she would normally have so bk down to 6-8 cans from 4pm onwards 5% 365 days a year some days more life’s hell no doubt about it she then started to self harm in ways that really put her life at risk 20+ inch scars all over her body her face throat she’s shaved her hair all off I stayed with her throughout everything even with how I’m feeling she’s stopped self harming she’s on medication & has a counsellor she still drinks & the abuse is worse than ever so aggressive towards me tells our children not to go near me as I may rape them because I look like a child rapist then laughs her head off so many other things go on from her the youngest is now 10 eldest 20 they’ve seen so much I really need to put an end to what’s going on but just can’t seem to make that step forward we both want it to end she wants me to take all the children bar 1 & move out of our home any advice is appreciated both positive & negative thanks for listening

OP posts:
LavendarLove · 02/07/2018 00:03

Wow you have beenthrpugh a lot! No wonder you feel like you do, she clearly needs help and you need to get away before you friends you down so far you can't cope and someone needs to be strong for the children and it seems you have all been through enough already. I'm no expert but her actions must be having a detrimental effect on the kids and you to be fair. This is domestic abuse, emotional and she needs help. If she wants you to go then i would try to set up home elsewhere then try to help her get through this awful time it seems she is going through. Alcohol addiction is awful and she needs professional help.

Dad2sixxxx · 02/07/2018 00:24

Hi thanks for your reply so true she does need help i have got her bk talking to her family she’s on track with her meds we just can’t seem to form the team that’s needed & the more I look bk it’s almost certainly me that’s kept us altogether I’ve had social care child protection it all got stopped as apparently I’m to good with my children to need help from them it’s taken a massive strain on the children i moved around the corner last year for several months I had 5 of the 6 children with me she just stayed at home drinking causing trouble with people then took a huge overdose I had to go bk with the children she had nobody at all but she still hates my guts tells me constantly that she’s in love with others even sends messages to them friends of mine even we sleep separate have done for 7+ yrs now when we get up I try to talk to her about stuff only to be told tough you don’t like it so what she will do what she wants when she wants just completely lost with it all

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