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Help needed, dealing with depression, self-harm and anxiety

7 replies

Maggie134 · 24/06/2018 21:42

I would be grateful for any advice on this topic.

I have been married to my husband for 3 years, we have no children. He is a lovely person in many ways and we have been happy in the past. However we have certain issues which are circulating beyond control. First is his sleeping all day when he isn’t working(until 1 or 2pm is normal) and his not helping at all around the house. Whenever I brought it up we had very volatile fights which ended in him walking out and me roaring and crying all night. He frequently calls me names like cunt or crazy bitch and throws and breaks things. I also break things out of sheer frustration and I self harm too. Then he comes back and make up but nothing would change.

About a year ago I managed to get him to see a GP abd he was diagnosed with depression. He saw a counsellor for a few sessions and we saw a counsellor for a few sessions together but he refused to go back after she didn’t kick up a stink and have a huge reaction when I confessed to self harming when he walks out on an argument. He has done nothing for his depression other than take the tablets. He does no exercise, drinks excessively and eats takeaways almost every day. He has become increasingly aggressive and not just to me.

I continued to see the counsellor on my own for a while but stopped when she advised me that the problem is with him, not me and he needs to motivate to change before we can move on. On his request I went to a GP and reported the self harming and was told the same thing.

That was 6 months ago and things have gotten worse. I obsess over our problems, we fight almost every day, my self harming has gotten worse and I have started having panic attacks. Last week in an argument he said fuck you and shove it up your hole to me and I got so angry I hit him. He then kicked me and shoved me. He was drinking at the time and he burped in my face and said “that’s what I think of you”. I left and stayed in my parents house. He says I push him so far to do these things and then I play the victim.

We have been fighting all weekend and I have self harmed a lot including smacking my face off my granite worktop and tearing my hair out. He told me to snap out of it and just be fucking normal. I suppose I am asking do you think it is the depression talking or is he just a horrible, selfish person? Any thoughts on a course of action would be fantastic.

OP posts:
twohandstwokids · 25/06/2018 12:43

Does it matter if it is the depression or if he is horrible. The situation is horrible. It can't stay the same. You need change. If leaving brings about the change you need to see (In yourself or him) then that is what you need to do.

You are stronger than you think. It takes strength to put up with this bullshit. It will be easier once you make the break you know you need to make.

Maggie134 · 26/06/2018 01:03

Thanks for your help, I think you are right and I am considering going to stay with my sister who lives overseas for a few months.

OP posts:
NT53NJT · 26/06/2018 01:05

Wow is this actually real? I couldn't imagine treating anyone with such a lack of respect.
Why are you still there? No....why are you still married to this guy?

Singlenotsingle · 26/06/2018 01:10

"he is a lovely person in many ways" Really? Really? He sounds absolutely disgusting! Ring your sister tomorrow and get out of that toxic relationship!

Maggie134 · 26/06/2018 08:48

Yes unfortunately this is real Sad

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Singlenotsingle · 26/06/2018 09:02

He's a real knob!

Maggie134 · 30/06/2018 00:34

Yes unfortunately he really is acting like one. I forgot to mention he is a lorry driver and is away from home a lot and works crazy hours. We haven’t slept in the same bed for over 6 months due to his snoring (a result of the overeating and drinking) and haven’t had sex properly in 2 years. When I see it all written down before me I see how silly it is for me to be asking for advice. I do not deserve this, I am not perfect in any way but I do not deserve this. I have a first class honours degree, a masters and a good job. I run a five bedroom house (inherited) and garden singlehandedly and I also run a nursery school, a youth club and several other community groups voluntarily. This just isn’t good enough depression or not. Thanks everyone.

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