My Partner has had a history of gambling, suicide attempts and taking a lot of time of work. This he got away with for 10years with his ex wife who he has two kids with. I didn't know any of this to Start of with. Everything was going fine and at Christmas he drank too much and I had to have him arrested and I sent him back home and he missed our sons first Christmas. (I also have a older child who isn't his.) over the time we have been together he has gambled and has quit jobs quite easily. Kicking him
Out at Christmas seemed to give him a wake up call as his ex never did this she just let him get away with it. He agreed to start councilling but we are still waiting on Doctors, all his wages get paid to me, he doesn't go out and he is working. However though this week he has been a bit of a nightmare moaning that he is working for nothing as when I had our son he told me he didn't want me working full time again so he would earn the wage and I work part time. This is fine however he has to earn £250 a week just to cover the bills. All our bills come to £2200a month but £180 is child maintenance to his ex, £100 is travelling to see his kids, and £190 is childcare for the youngest. So to me £1700 is average for a family of 4 with rent and council tax being £900 alone before car, petrol, gas, electricity, insurances, food etc. He is kicking of about this, he is now on about not working and I go back for 30 hours a week because then we could save childcare (although I feel
It's important he goes as my eldest did from same age and it did him good.) and he wouldn't have to pay csa. However to me I feel that's wrong, unfortunately some months we won't have spare money to treat ourselves. I struggle as when I was a single parent we had £400 a month to do days our etc but I have just sucked it up. I live in constant fear he will give his job up. Plus I am fair 50% if our food shop money goes on buying him fizzy drinks, crisps and fridge snacks and I always try to get him a PlayStation voucher weekly but he always always asks for more. His ex wife has messaged me saying 'he asked me for money for meds but I didn't give it him because he already owes my family enough money.' He is denying this, and she hasn't sent me any prove or anything. Plus he has said that he messaged her that ages ago when we paid her extra money for
His kids before realising it wasn't being used as intended and it was her fault she had no money so he was trying to get it back. But would you believe her? It's not like he does gamble anymore etc. Over the years I drive 4 hour round trip to collect his kids, I gave mainly been the breadwinner whilst he takes time of here there and everywhere. He says he loves his job but yet I have this constant fear. He is such a amazing dad to the kids in our house, and he can be a amazing partner helping with housework, letting me go bed when he gets home if I had a bad night, doing nursery runs etc. Our relationship when the money side and work side is amazing however we need theee things in order to survive. His mum said he is selfish and always has been. Just any advice anyone been in a similar situation? Xx