Rent forever or move in with overbearing mother?

[eggsinonebasket]

I’m early 30s, single with 1 DC, and renting on an average full time wage. After bills etc this leaves nothing substantial left to save for a deposit so I can buy a house. I hate the idea of renting forever and having nothing to leave my DC when I die, I hate the insecurity of renting and how it’s empty money falling out of my account each month.
My only feasible option is to move back home to my parents. After 2-3 years and I’d have enough for a deposit. I just don’t know if I can give up my privacy and freedom. My mum can be very overbearing wanting to know all my business and passing judgement on any purchases I make, wanting to know all about my love life and so on. She’d want to know where I was going and with who and when I’d be back and if I wasn’t back at usual time she’d be messaging/calling.
I can’t decide if the benefits of moving back home and saving up for my future outweigh how taxing it would be on me personally. I’ve not lived at home since I was 18 and I’m so used to quiet, freedom and privacy and my independence. Love my mum to bits but she’s so full on. I need some outside perspective!

Have you been for any advice on getting a mortgage with something like the Help to Buy scheme?

Even just reading your title made me think, rent forever! I know I couldn't go back into that dynamic. Any chance you could have a tag about your concerns and set some proper ground rules re each others privacy?

Have your parents invited you to live at home?
Can you sit down and show appreciate. Say you are really grateful for the opportunity to save some money but you would like to set some ground rules.
Splitting bills- how much and when.
Food- have your own fridge?
Say that this is only going to work if you are able to come and go as you please. You’re not 16 again and won’t be asking permission to stay out late.
If you are going to eat dinner as a family it’s a courtesy to let them know if you are going to be in or not.
Your goal is to save money. Not gain supervision.
again repeat how grateful you are for the chance to save the money, but say you are worried about her being overbearing and then describe the exact paragraph above with all the things you are worried she does.
Then if she does do it you can say “Mum, we discussed this remember”

Would your mum want you back in her space?!

I don't think it's empty money to pay for a home - it's only the same as paying for other things you use, like electric/water etc?

In your situation I'd stick with renting. Yes look into some financial advice. If your parents are kind enough to let you move back home maybe there is some way they could help you find a deposit? Extend their own mortgage and you pay them back slowly?

Think carefully about this as it’s not just you anymore but your dc too.
If your mother is overbearing, it’s likely that dc will pick up on how you’re being treated and it will likely change the dynamic and relationship you have with your dc.
I’d rent forever.

Maybe these aren't the only options?

I know it's tough when you are on your own. Everything costs almost as much as if there were two adults but there is only one wage and only one pair of hands.

Are there any social or support groups for single mums of only children in your area? I think in your position I would be trying to find another mum with one child in the same position who I could get on well with, and propose that we work together for a pre-agreed time (perhaps 3 years) specifically to enable both to save on living costs.

Firstly the rent for a 3 bed (if the 2 kids can share) or even 4 bed house would not be as much as double the rent for a 2 bed place.

Likewise a half-share of bills would be less.

You might be able to stagger work hours to save money on childcare.

It would be a very challenging few years. Getting along with someone else sharing your home is difficult enough when it's someone you are (or at least sometime in the past were) in love with is difficult enough. Doing it with someone who isn't a life partner would certainly be a challenge but possibly preferable to trying to do it with a domineering mother.

She can only be overbearing if you let her.
Discuss and agree the ground rules first with her, then do your own thing and close her down when you need to.
If you can't agree on the first placer then don't move in.

Has she invited you? I wouldn't, with my mum, but yours may not be quite so dreadful!

Imo your dc will want you to be happy now rather than count the years til you snuff it and leave them a house!!

Rent forever. I'm always going to have to rent but my partner, children and I need a home of our own.