Child Maintentanance Reduction/Transportation Costs

[mummytippy]

Just wondered if I could have thoughts on the following...

I received a phone call from the CMS today to advise that my DS's maintenance is to be cut as another claim has been received.

My DS's father has recently split from his partner whom he has a 2 yo DD.

There is a Court Order in place for my DS contact between his father He stays every other week and half the holidays.

My Ex lives approx 100 miles away and so we share the transportation of our DS. It is laid out in the Court Order. The trip takes me approx 4-5 hours round trip every fortnight.

The cost of transporting my DS is about the same as the cut I am soon to receive for my DS and therefore I'll struggle financially with maintaining transportation.

I've learned from the CMS that my Ex s going to be paying the exact same amount to his recent Ex for the 2yo DD and she lives locally to him.

I am happy for my son to still have contact with his father, but I put some of the maintenance towards fuel costs/travelling expenses each week. Could I apply to the Court to ask that he is now responsible for all of the transportation as I'll not be able to afford it?

Also, my DS is almost 12, the size of a 15 year old so is in adult shoes/clothing... so by comparison on toddler clothes and shoes it doesn't seem fair.

Thank you in advance.

I would imagine you could apply to Court and ask them to consider it. I don't know whether they would consider it reasonable or not. They would presumably need to look a the full picture, including considering both of your financial situations, plus other related factors.

Who moved away from who?

Your Ex presumably has more outgoings/expenses now that he has split up with the mother of his 2yo, and may also not be able to afford to pay for an additional journey. The court can look at the full picture and decide.

With regard to the toddler getting the same amount as your 15 year old son, it is fair that the maintenance amount is split equally, as both children equally need to be supported.

Sorry, I should have added, the one thing you cannot do is stop facilitating contact in retaliation to your CM being reduced. You must continue to do and pay for the journeys allocated to you, regardless of a drop in CM. You will have to make the saving elsewhere, until such time as the court order is changed, if it does get changed.

Hi Mrsm43s

I moved back to where I'm originally from 4 years ago as I was struggling for work in that area and wanted to have the support of my family. This was after living in the area my Ex is originally from for 6 years.

He works full time and earns 5-6 times more than me. I work part-time and claim Tax Credits.

I understand what you are saying about the money being split equally and I get that... it's just I have a very tight budget and the fuel costs are already stretching me before the cut.

It was my DS's father and this Ex partner which applied to the Court for custody of my DS in 2014 - painting a picture of them being a 'happy family' etc and it was a horrendous time lasting 2 years.

I'm only just getting back on my feet... and seems they weren't so happy. My Ex also has 2 other children (grown up now) with 2 other women.

I get so tired too... driving all those miles and in winter it's no fun. I had a tyre blow out once coming back and was rescued by the RAC in the early hours after waiting a couple of hours etc...

We have the arrangement where the CMS set the amount but he pays me direct for our DS.

I would not withhold contact through retaliation, it simply is what it is.
Not sure where I can make further cuts either.

At 12 my ds was travelling to /from his df's around 60 miles round trip. Would you consider allowing him to travel? Has he got a mobile?

He has a mobile phone but he'd have to catch 2 trains to get to his Dad's... He just about manages the school bus to my parents house (as I haven't allowed him a key yet).

I wouldn't feel comfortable firstly as it's not a direct train and secondly you don't know who's on the train (sadly).

If he earns 5/6 times more than you and has plenty of money, court might agree that he should pay the travelling costs, but I think, bearing in mind you moved away, they may well say you should continue to pay half. If they say that, you still need to make sure that you get him there.

Since your son is now 12, have you considered looking for additional hours or full time work?

If you were ordered to pay the travel costs in the first court order and be now has less money due to the split; it's unlikely you'll get him ordered to share the transport costs. Sorry.

The financial aspect of sharing the travel arrangements is not on the Court Order. It was not on the first Court Order either. It was a proviso by the Judge to advocate to our son we are both positively working together by sharing transportation.

I work 21 hours over 3 days. I job share with another person. There is occasional holiday cover/overtime which I do quite regularly.
I'm also an only child and have elderly parents... another reason for me relocating back to where I'm from. It's all pretty exhausting tbh.

If I were to work full-time I still wouldn't earn anything anywhere near my Ex partner.

If I were to work full-time I still wouldn't earn anything anywhere near my Ex partner.

That's not relevant to you working full time really. Now your son is 12, you really should be looking for a full time job. Bear in mind the support that you get has already reduced, and will go completely in just a few years when your son reaches 18, both that from benefits and that from your ex. I understand that you have elderly parents (sadly I have elderly parents in poor health too), but most people still have to work full time when their parents get elderly, and fit any care they do into evenings/weekends.

Regarding the sharing of transport, I would say that It was a proviso by the Judge to advocate to our son we are both positively working together by sharing transportation. is still relevant.

Thanks for your input mrsm43s

I have a secure job at the moment I've held for 5 years... with a flexible boss who's supported me throughout the Court case over 2 years. That counts for a lot to me in that I can sleep at night without fear of losing my job in the current climate. I don't want a new employer but as I've said I work overtime and cover holidays and when I do that I'm working 35 hours.

I understand how long benefits last for and the CM payment...

I was merely asking whether because the maintenance payment had been reduced and because I use part of this to facilitate the cost of transportation currently, whether an application to the Court to change the court order might be approved.

I think you've already answered that!

I'd also like to add that that I've done nothing but promote contact with my Ex and our DS... I've actually been making the said journey 19 years as I facilitated contacted between my Ex and his 23 year old son between 1998 - 2007... My Ex couldn't drive so I obliged driving both ways every other week for 9 years. The thanks I got when I split from him was he applied to the Court so I hope you can understand a little bit more why I feel a bit unfairly treated in this situation.

You are doing 50/50 residency, is that right?
You still get maintenance, and work part time.
I understand the job security aspect, but can you not apply for additional part time work?
I do 50/50. My ex earns significantly more than I do. He pays no maintenance whatsoever. I work full time.
I have had to make it work, due to having no option.

As you moved away, I can't see that a court would rule in favour of increasing your maintenance. I'm surprised you were awarded any, based on my personal experiences.

I would expect your ex to be paying all clothing/additional costs when he is staying with him though. He can't force you to buy all clothes/ pay for activities in his time. Would that help at all?

If you choose to work part time, when you are able to work full time, you can't then expect your ex to start paying your share of the cost due to affordability.

Many people would love to work part time only for many reasons, but if doing so means that you cannot afford to pay your share of the bills, then unfortunately you cannot afford to only work part time. You cannot plead poverty when you are deliberately remaining underemployed. It's not your ex's job to subsidise your part time working now that his child no longer needs child care.

It's time to look for full time work (or a second job, if you want to keep your existing one).

I'm fairly sure that a court would come to the same conclusion, but by all means make an application and find out.

You need to increase your hours to full time or get another part time job. Part time is a luxury if you can afford it. If reduction of maintenance makes you so close to the edge financially as to render a 200 mile round trip every fortnight difficult- then you have no financial buffer and need to earn more. Part time is not a luxury you can afford.
Your son is 12 so perhaps a compromise on the train to a point where he can be collected by his father without changing trains ? So if it requires two trains then dad picks up from the first. Then in a year or so he does the journey on his own.
My sc are 16/14 and have done a train change since they were 13 (alone) . We did it with them 3 times so they knew what to do. The beauty of mobile phones is that you are always on hand just ensure phones are charged.

Hi throwawayagain, the custody is not 50/50... my DS sees his Dad every other weekend and half the school holidays.

I understand everyone is telling me to work full-time but as I've already said I do extra hours almost every week and more often that not I never work my basic hours of 21. As I've already said,
My weekly hours average is 32, plus I'm in receipt of working tax and tax credits.

Also, another reason my hours are as they are is because via the Court Order, I drop off our DS for no later than 6.30pm on Fridays.
This is only achieved by setting off straight from school collection at 3pm (so I work until 2.30pm on Fridays) It's 80 miles along one of the busiest motorways in the country. My Ex returns our DS on Sunday for 7pm.

So, my question with regard to the cut in the maintenance equalling my monthly fuel costs to get my DS to his father seems unfair to me as the mother of his other child (who's put in the new claim and will receive the same amount) also works part-time but lives locally to him. 5 mins drive from each others houses. I know this as My Ex collects and drops off their DD as our DS goes with him.

With regard to the train journey and my Ex meeting him, My son isn't mature enough to get on a train and even with a mobile phone I wouldn't be happy with him doing that.

Not that it's really relevant, but the mother of the other child is working part time because she still has a toddler who needs childcare at home. You need to stop comparing yourself to the other mother. Seriously. What they do/don't do, what arrangements they have re pick ups/drop offs, whether she wears cheaper or more expensive shoes than your son etc are simply none of your business, and you need to stop fixating on that. Your son's sister has just as much right to be supported by their father as your son does.

A 200 mile round trip is around £25 in petrol. I'm sure with all that overtime you can stretch to that ;)

I don't really know the ins and outs of the maintenance situation as exP just doesn't pay any, but I'd say equal payments for a toddler and pre-teen are fair given that childcare costs far more for a preschooler and they grow so fast that they need new clothes pretty much constantly.

A court may order transportation costs to be met, but with court costs is it really worth it? Things might have been paid for before, but court costs make things prohibitive to me on my FT, average salary

Surely at almost 13 it won't be long before he can take the train? My children took the train to school from the age of 11 (and only just 11 in one case). Obviously that wasn't such a long journey, but it involved changing train, which is the tricky bit.

Do it with him the first time and then let him try on his own, with you available on the end on a phone in case he gets stuck. He'll soon get used to it.