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Original poster

Sons birthday shared garden

28 replies

Tryingtobehappy2018 · 06/06/2018 15:13

Just looking for other people's views on weather in just a big meany...
It's my son's 7th birthday in August and he wants a bouncy castle for the day which is great fun so we found one, And have decided on a bbq aswell as inviting school friends and family. Problem is we're in a maisonette, with a shared garden and my OH thinks all the kids in the block should be allowed as it's unfair. I said I have no problem them coming on the bouncy castle as long as it's not over the top too many, he also thinks if we're having a bbq we need to feed them too. Now I don't quite agree with him as just becuase we share a garden doesn't mean we have to go all out for all the kids? Ranging from about 2 years old. It would mean inviting less school friends to be able to cater for the kids in the block.
It's put quite a damper on it as I was looking forward to it, now all I can imagine is tonnes of kids coming that aren't even friends of my son's.
It's a huge garden though so wouldn't take up a great deal of room.
I understand what he's saying but I don't know why it can't be involvement with just the bouncy castle.

OP posts:

Dancingmonkey87 · 06/06/2018 15:14

Your husbands right you don’t have the privilege of having your own private garden

Whatdoiladymcbeth · 06/06/2018 15:16

Have you even asked them if this is an okay use of shared space?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/06/2018 15:16

How many kids are in the block? Is it the communal space in a block of flats?? That’s almost like holding it in the street, really
Are you actually allowed to install a bouncy castle?

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 06/06/2018 15:18

For an easy life now and however long you live there I would suggest asking if the neighbours mind first and then invite.

MrsMotherHen · 06/06/2018 15:19

yes I think its mean not too feed the kids too keep the bbq simple just burgers and hotdogs.

TheIsland · 06/06/2018 15:20

I’m assuming you’ve got permission from others in the block? Did you invite/not invite their children at the same time? It will be hard to go back on it otherwise.

Can you book a community centre instead? Some aren’t that pricey

QueenOfQuacks · 06/06/2018 15:21

I'd find somewhere else to have the party tbh. Hire a hall with a garden maybe? Or see if you can get permission to use a local green space?

TroubledLichen · 06/06/2018 15:21

You don’t have to go all out for the other children who aren’t friends of your son, but if they live in the block then you can’t stop them using the garden as it’s just as much theirs as it is yours.

Is that difficult to have a bit of extra food for the other kids? If they are in the garden during the party, which they probably will be when they see the bouncy castle, then it might get very awkward if you have to explain to a toddler why they aren’t invited and why they can’t have a sausage from the barbecue. But no I wouldn’t do anything special for these kids.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 06/06/2018 15:24

We don't share a garden, but when we've hired a bouncy castle, I know other kids in the village will be desperate for a bounce. We just send a note asking them to pop in for the last 20 minutes to be nice, but not for the whole party. I've probably sent them home with a slice of cake as well

Would that work OP?

SeaToSki · 06/06/2018 15:36

I think you could invite the local kids for the last half hour for a bounce, to sing to your DS and have a slice of cake. If I was a mum in the maisonette, I would think that was kind of you to include my dc in that way. If you do it this way, make sure you specify a time and if a few dc turn up a bit early then it doesnt matter too much!

Maybe your DS will make a few more friends from the neighbours which is always a good thing

Original poster

Tryingtobehappy2018 · 06/06/2018 15:38

Yes no problem at all them coming on the bouncy castle we was going to let parents know, there is quite a few of them here.
I just didn't know how to handle the food side of it, as I can't see there being just a few.
Permission no problem allowed stuff like this as long it is gone the same day which it will be.
I wasn't going to not feed anyone, but maybe doing sandwiches and party food then bbq for family.

OP posts:

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 06/06/2018 15:48

Make sure the bbq food is eaten and cleared away by the time the other children arrive for their 20 minutes bouncing. Maybe just leave out a jug of juice and some little cakes or something.

They won't feel hard done by and you won't feel bad if they're getting a bit of the cake/bouncy castle action.

It's a nice gesture but won't mess with the party itself.

holycityzoo · 06/06/2018 15:53

Would in really be the end of the world to offer them a hot dog? An extra packet of sausages and rolls wouldn't cost the Earth.

bakingdemon · 06/06/2018 15:56

How many other flats share the garden and how many kids are you talking? We used to share a garden with 7 other flats and people would always ask first if they planned to use the garden for a BBQ and say how many people they were inviting and the times they'd be there. Tbh we'd probably have said no to a bouncy castle as it would have taken up just about the whole garden and damaged the grass. You can't stop other residents using the garden so I would lay on a bit of extra food.

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 06/06/2018 16:01

I don't think you can only invite them for 20 minutes if it's a shared space.

Buy a couple of extra packs of sausages and burgers, it would cost less than a fiver and let all the kids enjoy it.

Could you imagine your son looking out the window at the fun going on in his garden and not being allowed to join in.

If it isn't doable then hire a hall for the bouncy castle and invite who you want.

Hope he has fun whatever you decide.

Original poster

Tryingtobehappy2018 · 06/06/2018 16:03

It will only take a small portion of the garden as it's massive. We're already paying for a bigger castle so it's big enough.
I was going to do party food, my OH just doesn't agree with my idea about bbq later for family.

OP posts:

LML83 · 06/06/2018 16:05

How will you manage giving the party kids food and not the neighbour kids?

If there is a diplomatic way of doing that fair enough but I am not sure how?

I couldn't say here's a sausage for you and you...not you. Can you bring invited kids inside for food? even that feels a little off.

LML83 · 06/06/2018 16:06

bettydacis suggestion seems good.

Original poster

Tryingtobehappy2018 · 06/06/2018 16:09

Me personally I'd be happy my son being invited for a while but I wouldn't expect him to be invited for the whole lot, As it's not my child's party and would be more than happy he was invited for a play and a bit of cake as a bonus.
It is a shared garden but I'll only be using a portion of the whole garden.
I'm not going to limit them as I wouldn't know how to put that.
I thought I was reasonable putting out party food then the bbq later on for my family.

OP posts:

Original poster

Tryingtobehappy2018 · 06/06/2018 16:09

Neighbours kids would get party food

OP posts:

HouseworkIsASin10 · 06/06/2018 16:11

Problem with a shared garden, the neighbours will just throw their kids out and tell them to go and play/eat.

Do you have a relative with a garden you could use?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/06/2018 16:13

So, the neighbours are on board with you using the shared space, you’re happy that the neighbour’s kids will use the bouncy castle, and you’re happy to feed everyone.
What’s the actual issue?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 06/06/2018 16:19

I really don't think you can do this without including them. It doesn't matter if the garden is huge, its pretty unreasonable to think you have the right to monopolise it with a bouncy castle, party and BBQ without so much as a conversation with the other residents.

Rollercoaster1920 · 06/06/2018 16:32

You need to hire somewhere with space for a party. We have used a church hall and a sports pavillion in previous years.

Floralnomad · 06/06/2018 16:38

Have you no family or friends that have a garden you could use ? Also what happens if it’s raining on the day ,do you have room indoors to host the party .

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