Colleague at work is very short and picks on me, what would you do?

[Donkdonkgoo]

My co worker is training me and I'm six months into the job. She is very hot and cold with me, in a morning she's very off and short with me in the afternoon about 3pm she has a personality transplant and becomes more pleasant. These last two weeks there have been more instances of where I feel like I've been set up to fail so she can tell me off!! Today she chastised me for not doing something she didn't tell me to do. I had to leave the office for an hour as my blood was boiling, wwud?

I feel like handing in my notice, and I have started looking for another job

I found the line "I can't remember the last time you said something positive or encouraging" quite useful. Mind you, on the basis that, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, my boss didn't speak to me for another 3 weeks...! It's really demoralising though. I feel for you.

Jessica....thanks that's a good line I might use. She's not even my boss, I think going to my boss about it will make it worse, I feel like I need to confront her about it.... my confidence is in the gutter after weeks of it, what's annoying is she takes pride and considers herself very PC

Sorry, i thought from your title she was like 4’11” or something

Sorry, not helpful

Like jessica says, i would be inclined to broach her directly (i’d wait till after 3 when she is in a good mood because i’m a wuss), and tell her you’re feeling like there’s very little positive encouragement from her and ask her how she feels that can be addressed.

People who pride themselves on being all pc and soft skills can be the very worst people at being confronted with evidence that they are being cunty tho. They tend to kick off and make it the other person’s fault. I worked with a woman like this.

Yes I know I need to get her in a room, I'm tired of going to work dreading it and gritting my teeth, I think she think she knows I'm taking it so she's carrying on. I have two significant examples to discuss with her that she cant argue with... I need to find my balls!

I need some conversation opening suggestions, does anyone have any other than "your a twat get out of my face bitch" 😂

I wonder whether she's got blood sugar problems and doesn't eat breakfast so is ratty all morning, then is OK after lunch.

With regard to those issues, you should email her stating clearly and fairly what's going on, and CC your boss. You can tell your boss you're having some problems with her and want to CC them in to any correspondence. Then, if the troublemaker asks, you can say your boss has told you to CC them in.

I've found that nips any problems in the bud.

It does take a lot of courage to stand up to someone like this, but I've found they back down pretty quickly if you do. They are bullies and cowards - you really do have to stand up to them.

Miss vanjie
I know what your saying however I have two specific examples, one being a mini project which involved me emailing 3 managers for information she then said when people have replied to my email she will show me what to do with the next stage and updating data file with their responses. She never showed me the next stage and still waiting for a manager to reply for which I've chased. Today she had a pop at me cos it's my fault the data isn't up to date. Her words "you need to do better next time" grrrr

Say loudly, “are you seriously telling me off? I don’t do bollockings” then about turn and go get yourself a cuppa.

Bullies like this shrivel when you show the cannot intimidate you.

One of my work colleagues had an issue with a manager like this. One day she just said ‘I don’t like the way you speak to me’. It stopped her right in her tracks and she never did it again.
Not sure if something like that could be an option?

Hollow talk, I really do need to confrint her rather than running to the boss for my self respect more than anything but yes i would definitely tell my boss I've had words with her

In the afternoon, when she's nice, you could say to her, "I'm really worried about you. In the afternoon, it's almost as though you've had a personality transplant. In the morning you do nothing but pick on me, but in the afternoon you're nice to me. Do you know why you do this?"

And then say nothing at all until she answers.

Daykay yes that's a good line to use.... noted thanks.
She is sooo hot and cold with me and has moments that feel genuinely lovely towards me then others that are such a contrast!!! It's as if she feels guilty cos she knows she's been really mean so she then creeps

Hollow talk yes that's another good one!!

But your boss is your boss. They need to know what's going on. If someone is treating you unfairly, you do need to keep your boss informed. What would happen if you ended up yelling at this woman? How would you explain that to your boss, when you haven't complained about her beforehand?

If I were you I'd get everything in writing, copied to your boss. Confirm everything she says. Warn your boss that you're doing it to try to stop her being horrible to you.

Daykay and don't drink.....I agree I know I need to say something, part of me wants to do it in the office surrounded by others like she does towards me. It would be more professional if I ask her to a conference room. I did think about sending her an invite late on for the following day and title it "respect towards colleagues" and let her stew wondering what's it's about till the following day

I currently have a boss like this.... same attitude unless she is blaming someone for something she isn’t happy..! Most of the time I bite my tongue, however I have been known to say, you haven’t shown me that! I’ve also said (recently) if you feel like I’m not doing it right then you do it, your clearly better and I’ll get myself off Home shall I because you’ve made it clear there’s no point me being here (I’d like to say I was restrained but I wasn’t much to my shame) I’d say definitely call them out on it it will stop them in their tracks and make them realise they can’t bully you... things have improved greatly because she knows I’m not going to put up with her shit!

I once stood up for myself with a real nitpicking manager. It was a completely new field for me and she would pull people up for the tiniest little thing in front of everybody. Often in a nasty, condescending tone. I approached her one to one and said "I apologise if I'm making mistakes but I assure you I'm either doing it the way I've been told or shown or I'm copying everyone else's practises. If that's not right and you are the person to train me properly I'll stay late or come in at the weekend to learn from you, but what I won't do is be spoken to like that." Classic bully that she was, she backed down as soon as she realised I wasn't going to take it. It felt so good.