Hi there everyone,
Basically, I'm at a cross roads. The time where I have the option and choice to have my own child and I'm scared.
I have been seeing the most amazing man for close to three years now. He has two beautiful children (4 and 7) and an ex where we are all the exception to the rule. Things work. There is no bad blood between us, apart from the odd occasion where he and the ex have their minor disagreements.
We have our ones 50/50 over a 2 week period. I also have 4 wonderful nieces by my sister, who is currently dealing with extensive mental issues, so we are looking after those little ones too on a regular basis.
I am surrounded by amazing little humans, who I quite regularly look after and nuture as best as I can. My relationship with my partners kidlets is one that I cherish. I love them with all I can and they have filled me with pride, more than I could have ever hoped.
My partner has given me the option to have one of our own, but it needs to happen as soon as possible due to a vasectomy reversal procedure and also that he doesn't want to be an older Dad (40 in Dec). I understand we may not even be successful with a reversal, it's more that I am pooping my pants with the idea of having my own.
Were you ladies scared at all or was this something you 100% had no doubt about? I have been pregnant once before to a very manipulative/abusive partner and decided that I couldn't be with someone or raise a child with a man like that, so I decided to abort (please do not judge). I don't know if I'm recalling the ill feelings I had about it all from him or if I'm just not meant to have my own cherubs.
Overall, I am scared I will regret it if I don't have one of my own, but also too scared that I have plenty of souls around me that need my help.
Please note; I am not after a decision to be made for me, just your experience. This ultimately is my choice, but I want all stories, good and bad.