Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

is my marriage not normal

19 replies

jamies101girl · 03/06/2018 00:35

me and three of my friends were having a girly night about 4 months ago, the usual a meal and drinks.
as the night went on my friends started a conversation about sex and orgasms, when they started slating their husbands about how useless they were in bed, that they dont get satisfied and fake it all the time.
as they went deeper into the conversation i was kind of stunned by what they were saying.
as i was basically just sitting saying nothing, it quickly turned to me telling me i could vent aswell that all women were in the same boat and they understood.
when i proceeded to tell my friends that me and my husband who i have been with since i was 19 and he 18, im 35 now and had or first child nearly 2 years ago.we have our ups and downs like all couples but have sex usually twice a week and that i have never faked an orgasm and that i probably have one 90% of the time.
my friends just laughed at me and called me a liar saying it could not be the truth and that its not normal.
since then they just keep sniggering and whispering behind my back i just pretend to not notice.
on the first night i spent with my husband all those years ago he told me never fake it as women should not have to, relax and enjoy yourself if it does not happen it will make him try harder the next time,
faking it gains nothing as it would just make him lazy and then i would lose in the long run.
since that first night he still stands by that and says every couple are the same.
but after my friends reaction towards me i am starting doubt it.
i am even contemplating telling my friends i wasnt totally honest just so they would let it go and stop all the jokes at my expense.
but i really hate the thoughts of being dishonest as it is one of the rules i try to live my life by.
hubby says to ignore it but it is really starting to get to me.

advice greatly appreciated

OP posts:
FissionChips · 03/06/2018 00:38

If they be talking and laughing about you then then are not real friends.

NC4Now · 03/06/2018 00:39

Your marriage sounds lovely, and healthy. Your friends less so.
Moral of the story: what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

PragmaticWench · 03/06/2018 00:41

Your friends sound juvenile, irritating and small minded.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/06/2018 00:41

Cask then out on the sniggering and whispering. Tell them it's upsetting you. There reaction will tell you what you need to know about your friendship.

Alternatively suggest all the DH's net up and yours will give all the men some tips

Isadora2007 · 03/06/2018 00:43

Jealousy is a terrible thing. They probably feel a bit stupid they were saying all that stuff and then perhaps felt wrongly that you were smug about your good sex. But they’re in the wrong on many levels- wrong that men can’t be good a sex, wrong to make you feel bad and wrong to fake and then complain behind their men’s backs.

My lovely husband is also a very attentive lover and if I don’t manage to orgasm he will either manually help or give me extra next time. I don’t fake. I enjoy our sex life whether I orgasm or not so I don’t need to fake anything. He also doesn’t masturbate, ever. It’s just not something he enjoys. So many people say I’m lying or he is... or that it’s wishful thinking on my part etc.
Chin up. And enjoy your great sex.

PickAChew · 03/06/2018 00:44

They sound about 13.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 03/06/2018 00:47

They’re not friends. Dump their bitchy arses and find some proper friends.

Definitely, definitely do NOT say you lied. Your marriage & sex life are both perfectly normal and lovely, don’t lie about it to stop them being stupid. Even if you did, they’d be the same as they are now but feel even more justified as you lied....

snewname · 03/06/2018 00:54

Honesty is always important in a marriage. In all departments.

PoshPenny · 03/06/2018 00:56

They're jealous of you and angry. If they won't leave it alone, maybe find some other friends? You're very lucky.

jamies101girl · 03/06/2018 13:47

thanks for the replys, i was telling my husband about it and he agrees with what is being said here

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 03/06/2018 13:49

Get new friends. These ones are crap.

Highhorse1981 · 03/06/2018 13:49

since then they just keep sniggering and whispering behind my back i just pretend to not notice.

Friends you say?

BettyBaggins · 03/06/2018 13:50

It sounds like you are the one with the healthy relationship. Find new friends Wine

BrutusMcDogface · 03/06/2018 13:52

They're jealous. I orgasm every time with my dp, too, because he always makes sure I do. We are the ones with "normal" relationships. Can't get my head round why people would think it's ok to fake orgasms in a marriage/relationship.

BrutusMcDogface · 03/06/2018 13:53

By the way, if they're sniggering behind your back, they sound really immature. Hold your head up high.

Fatted · 03/06/2018 13:58

Personally, I'd dump the friends if they're laughing at you because of this. At the end of the day, you're happy with your relationship, they're not. They're the ones losing out.

I just hate the idea of sharing this kind of stuff with people for reasons exactly like this!

Failingat40 · 03/06/2018 14:03

I'd never discuss or reveal intimate details of my sex life with anyone.

If I were your husband I'd be really fucked off at you and your witches coven.

You all need to grow up.

jamies101girl · 04/06/2018 00:52

i had never in my life discussed it with anyone which was the reason i was staying quiet on the night until i was bombarded with questions.
and until this point i thought every couple was the same but i am after learning how nieve i was.
the more i have read up on faking and the likes i have realised how lucky i am in my marriage and love life.

OP posts:
MrsCD67 · 04/06/2018 00:57

Jealousy can do terrible things to people!!! Granted it's unusual (from what I've heard from friends) but hardly so out of this world that you seem to be lying! You're in a healthy and happy and satisfying relationship and obviously your 'friends' are not!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page