Funeral wear

[Pinkpeanut27]

I know nobody will actually care what I wear but I’m just checking etiquette as I’ve been lucky not to have attended a funeral recently .
I know it’s black or dark plainish colours .
I don’t really have any formal clothes as I’m a sahm and live in skinny jeans .
I have some Capri trousers which I assume are a no .
I also have some wide jersey trousers which I think is a no .
I have bought a business dress but it has cap sleeves, I have a long or short cardy to cover my arms . It’s just below the knee so tights are a must ?
Or I have bought some straight business trousers which I could wear a slightly floaty black top with or get a white shirt , which do you think ?
Also could o get away with black flat sling backs with no tights ?

I’m not sure whether to just start again . The only jackets I have either have embroidery round the hem ( bright ) or a short black jacket.

Any thoughts as I know the family won’t notice but it’s important to me .
The last funerals were either in the winter or when I had work suits .

I'm sorry for your loss. I would advise a plain black dress or dark trousers and blouse. The level of etiquette depends on the venue. Catholic funerals tend to be very conservative. If it is someone close you may not want to wear it again because of the association, so have a look for a cheap outfit? M&s are pretty good for plain black smart dresses. And I find that people do notice if you wear the wrong thing (at least in my family). Older people, particularly.

Thank you I have a Marks and Spencer’s dress but it has a cap sleeve and I’m not sure what I can put over it .i have a short waist length jacket or a long cardigan or a frock type coat with embroider on ? Would any of those be ok ?
It’s not in a church it’s in a crematorium , I don’t think it is catholic

It's usually more casual at a crematorium in my experience. (I've been to quite a lot of funerals, unfortunately). How about a scarf/shawl? That's what I have worn with a dress at a summer funeral. It will cover your arms at the service, and you can use it again.

It might be worth asking if there's any dress code. The last funeral I went to it was specifically requested that people did not wear black - more a celebration of the life of the person sort of thing.

A dress code is usually put on the funeral notice, if unusual. As someone recently bereaved, having people contact you to ask questions like that can be a pain.

I think black for a funeral is too Victorian, and I've usually gone with dressing smartly and soberly to be respectful - so just no garish colours or patterns, shoes that are too high, too much skin on show. Also something you are comfortable in, and be well groomed.
A dress sounds quite smart?
The point is, if you are there to pay your respects and say goodbye, that's all that matters ultimately. Have a trying on session?
Don't think tights are essential - really not if it's going to be hot.

I would wear a cardigan with your dress, but if its warm don’t worry about the sleeves. It’s black, and you’ll look like you’ve done the right thing.

The trousers and top sound fine to me as do the shoes. As you said, no 9ne else will notice.

I’m sorry for your loss

I wouldn't worry about having bare arms in the cap sleeved dress. And any coat, shawl or cardi of a dark or even neutral colour would be fine (black, grey, beige, brown, dark blue, dark green) - all that matters is that you're there.

Oh dear I'm against the grain. A close relative of mine added away recently. I organised the funeral. The mourners all wore black, with some other colours in shoes/scarfs etc. I thought it was respectful. It is not just important that you attend a funeral. How you behave, including how you dress is also important.

Trousers are fine, the wide leg ones would be fine I think. Sandals with bare feet - no. Nor bare legs. So trousers with shoes, or a dress/skirt with tights. Dress with cardigan is fine. The loose trousers with a plain top (could be white if you have a dark cardigan ), cardigan over.
A crematorium service is very similar to a church, so you do need to be formal, unless the family have asked specifically for something to be worn in memory of the person who has died.

passed away

Thank you all I think I’m sorted , I’ve sadly attended the funeral of this persons spouse a few years back so I assume it will be similar . I think the dress code is not strict but I felt wrong in what I put together last time which was a selection of dark / black items which I felt didn’t go .
I think I’m going to go with the dress and jacket which isn’t a formal jacket . I will wear tights and will try to dig out some proper shoes .
Sadly I fear this may be the first of a few funerals I will have to attend in the next year so it’s good to be organised now . I think I will feel more comfortable to err on the formal side rather than the casual .
Thank you all

I think funeral wear should be fairly formal. I think on a warm day a black dress with cap sleeves, nude tights and black shoes is absolutely appropriate. Sadly circumstances have meant I have been to a lot of funerals in the last few years. In winter i have a big black coat which actually makes life much easier!

So sorry for all your losses . I agree winter is easier as you can cover up with a coat and my winter wear tends to be darker and I have black boots