I posted a while back about the disgusting behaviour of my siblings & parents, who had contacted my ex husband - I've since found out they have been getting together also!
My ex had serious mental health issues when he cheated on me & left when DS1 was 4months, I tried to get him to maintain contact but it was sporadic & often DS1 was left waiting for Daddy who didn't come. I remarried when DS1 was 2, my Ex went loopy when he found out & threatened to murder hubby & snatch DS1, ex is Eastern European. Police were involved & we have had to be incredibly careful & keep our location secret.
Despite the threats we spent a lot of money on solicitors & tried mediation to arrange safe contact for DS1 & birth dad, he refused because he wanted it his way or no way, in the end we left him with clear instructions how to initiate contact, & he never bothered.
My family found my ex & wound him up telling him we are bad parents & DS1 is being abused!! (I don't know how they would know as since I got sick & was no longer at their beck & call they haven't bothered with us!)
DS1 was staying for a few days with my parents to give us a break as he has challenging behaviour & I wasn't aware of what they had been up to, whilst they were supposed to be helping me they tried to make DS1 have contact with birth Dad, thankfully DS1 refused & when he came home talked to us about it, he was a total mess due to things my family had said & of course mixed feelings as he's interested in who birth dad is, he just doesn't (currently) want him in his life.
My family also gave my ex my phone number, contact details of DS1 & we don't know if he's got our address too, we've had to go back to having our address flagged with the police!
Ex has phoned several times demanding contact, we have said he can write to DS1 & arranged our church to act as go between for letters, should DS1 want to read/respond to him, to build a relationship so that if DS1 wanted to have contact when he's a bit older then there was at least a start of getting to know one another.
My Ex was really angry as he believes it's his right to see his 'son' but we feel that it's reasonable & best for DS1 & it's what a court would order if he decided to go that way, he's had no contact at all for 13 years & refused to pay any support for him.
We had discussed all this with DS1, who's now been waiting 12 weeks for a letter from birth Dad, who once again hasn't bothered!
I'm so angry with my family who I now have no contact with, who stirred this all up & really hurt DS1 with things they said about his Dad( my hubby) me & his siblings, and now he's dealing with the fact birth Dad can't even be bothered to write to him!
I want to text my Ex & tell him how useless he is & how DS1 feels, but at the same time I'm happy he's not written.
I also want to ram to down my family's throat the damage they have caused interfering in our lives!
I think it's best not to but I'm furious that they did this to us & have chosen a man who left me with a tiny baby, & obviously hasn't changed despite the sob stories he has fed them, over me & my family!
WWYD?