Hi, After having my baby my partner and I were not having the best of time. He wasn't helping and I was left to do everything whilst also going to work and raising our other child. I noticed he was in the house less etc and was taking more of interest in his appearance and also on diet. All were out of the ordinary for him. I literally didn't have a minute so didn't take much notice of this until after I discovered a message on his phone one day saying I love you. I had picked up his phone to check the time and as I was checking the time the message came through at the top. I immediately confronted him and instead of coming after me to fix things he stayed in the bedroom where he deleted everything and also I think he got in touch with the woman. Befre I confronted him I managed to get the woman's number who I then became aware was a women he had been teaching English too. He'd only mentioned her briefly and apart from that I didn't know much else about her. The women replied and said she was just his friend but did in fact love him and felt the need to tell him although she told me he had told her nothing could happen. This I doubted as she also had alot to lose , a daughter and husband. She eventually admitted she tried to 'conquer him'. He initially refused to give up this friendship and we slowly moved on. I still found it strange that somebody would randomly message somebody they loved them. He admitted she had told him before how he felt but nothing happened and she was just a friend. He would continue to disappear at strange times .one night for example he had a class very close by the following morning but decided to leave our house at 1:30 in the morning after having a shower as he said he couldn't sleep. I doubted this was only a friendship but we tried to get bk on track although he slipped up afew times and let slip she may have separated from her husband. He seemed to be making a huge effort but about 6weels later I discovered he had another similar card and less than 24 hrs after buying this new SIM card he was back in touch with her and helping her translate her book, she was helping him with work matters. I couldn't believe it. Apparently they had been bk in touch for a while . This time he would not give up the 'friendship' even though he could see how devastated I was. After several weeks of her sending him pictures of herself looking all done up and making excuses to send him the pictures he eventually stopped the 'friendship'. It turns out she had separated from her husband, she's also tried to befriend his cousin on FB and even gave herself a mini make over and was looking more like me. I am finding it so hard to get over this as he has never sat down with me and explained everything and shown any remorse. He told me it's happened and to get over it. I didn't have much confidence befre but now I feel completely shattered. It doesn't help that this woman's pictures are all over the internet for me to access which may seem stupid but I can't help but look. She's very intelligent and if I'm honest she is probably better suited to him but even though I am nothing special I am surprised at her befre appearance. She was very geeky and not what he'd usually go for. He says it's all my fault and that he didn't sleep with her so to get over it. After 7months he finally admitted he did fancy her, he missed not talking to her and was happy when she was back in his life, he said enjoyed sneaking around and speaking daily in secret, he said he found it exciting and that if he wasn't with me he saw it developing into more. I just can't seem to get over this. Before all this happened we moved abroad back to his country and had another child and now I am in a way trapped here and I can't afford to move out. My heart says try to get over this but my head tells me this will happen again and to save myself more heartbreak. This happened last year and in February this year whilst he was telling me he was going to fight for us I discovered he was on tinder. He says it was out of curiosity but that was after trying to blame Google for setting it up. He's lost alot of weight recently and his confidence seems to have gone through the roof. Whereas mine is rock bottom even though I eventually lost all my weight and haven't been this slim in years.
I have only confided in family and friends so wanted opinions of other people who are not close to the situation.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as right now I feel so isolated and alone .
Sorry for the long story